Ann Marie Lindbloom on Whorified Success, “Personal Growth”

Ann Marie Lindbloom

Ann Marie Lindbloom

Ann Marie Lindbloom updates us on her critically acclaimed series, Whorified! The Search for America’s Next Top Whore.  

Since Whorified launched last May lots of cool things have happened.  Firstly, I started getting chin hairs on a regular basis.  You’d think this would bum me out but those suckers are wily and fascinating.  I’ve come to look forward to seeing them.  They spring up over night, they come out of the gate 2 or 3 inches long, and they cling to your face for dear life.  You have to really wrastle with ‘em if you want them gone.  It’s like that game “Operation,” with the bloated, tucked, nude guy whose nose would light up. It takes a very steady hand.  But with the right tweezers I’ll fuck up a follicle (or fish out a funny bone).  I’m hard like that. 

Secondly, we’ve had a lot of doors open because of the show, had some sit downs with production companies big and small.  It was really cool knowing that peeps at companies like Paramount, Sony and RDF USA saw the series and really liked it.  They were impressed with the writing and, across the board, execs said they were really impressed with what we were able to do on a shoestring budget.  One of them took us out to lunch and discreetly asked us about our budget.  We said “under $10,000.”  He said “per episode?”  We said “for all ten episodes.”  He was shocked.  Right now we’re working with an experienced EP to develop the series as a sitcom.  The development process is daunting as you often hear “we love it, very funny, now change it.”  Alas, I’m learning a lot.  It’s a process of knowing when to stick to your comedic guns and when to holster your guns and listen to the people who know how to shape your show into something that will sell. 

One funny thing that’s happened since Whorified launched is I now live in the “crack house” featured in Whorified (a.k.a. “Hooker House”).  The building is in my neighborhood and I always thought it had great bones, as I love Art Deco architecture (it was built in 1939).  At some point though it became vacant and trashed and I heard the plan was to bulldoze it.  I found the owners and asked if I could shoot inside before it was leveled and they said “go for it.” That was actually one way we kept costs down.  We did lots of trade-outs and/or begged and pleaded for locations.  And sometimes the location gods smiled upon us and pointed us to the crack house around the corner or the wall in the alley that had been grafittied with a giant “Got Ho’s?” sign (found it when I took a detour down that alley about a week before we started shooting). 

Anyhoo, fast forward a few months and the crack house gets sold, not torn down, and completely remodeled.  I walked by one day, saw that the building had been painted and the grounds were manicured, and glanced in the windows. I then shit my pants.  The apartments looked gorgeous.  The squatters were gone, walls without gorilla-sized holes separated the units, and the disgusting carpet had been pulled up to reveal dark hardwood floors that had been polished to within an inch of their life.  They even put in period light fixtures and bathrooms. So once the “For Rent” sign went up I went for it.  

My friend, a granolaey Buddhist said “you need to do a sage ceremony” when I told him I was moving into “Hooker House”.  Apparently he thought it might have bad juju.  I didn’t have sage so I just sprinkled Lawry’s Seasoned Salt around the rooms and danced to that shitty (yet catchy) Ke$ha song.  I think it worked because I’ve seen nary a poltergeist. 

So, other than fighting the vestiges of time, one hair at a time, developing Whorified and living in a former house of ill repute, I’ve just been hired as the showrunner on a new cable series.  It’s a comedic clip series that takes the piss out of Hollywood.  It’s the first season so it’s cool to have the opportunity to shape the tone of the show.  I’m excited and nervous about it at the same time. 

I also have lots of other shows I’m pitching and scripts I’m finishing and want to shoot another web series this year that will be a total departure from Whorified.  A dramedy-mystery with sci-fi undertones.  Is that even possible?  I guess I’ll find out.  Lastly, I’m firming up plans for a trip to meet with the American Hair Loss Association.  I’m going to bring them my chin for scientific research.  If believe that if they can figure out how to replicate my chin pubes then someday the formerly bald will be running their hands through a thick head of my chin pubes.  I do what I can to help humankind.  Because, at the end of the day, it’s not all about comedy for me.  

P.S. I just started a Twitter account and right now my only followers are a fad diet and porn.  Feel free to join the party at twitter.com/annmarietv

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  1. Ann Marie Lindbloom on Whorified Success, “Personal Growth” | Funny not Slutty…

    Ann Marie Lindbloom updates us on her critically acclaimed series, Whorified! The Search for America’s Next Top Whore. And, on her “personal growth”….

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    This post was mentioned on Twitter by annmarietv: Please enjoy a little article about me on funnynotslutty.com, the awesome website that covers women in comedy. http://bit.ly/ccmHVc

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