The Risen Lord and The Easter Bunny

The Risen Lord and The Easter Bunny: A Dialogue by Elizabeth Bastos

The Risen Lord (rising from an attitude of contemplation): Easter Bunny, it seems that more and more people prefer you to me. Why is that?

The Easter Bunny: I am made of chocolate, Lord.

The Risen Lord: Ahh. Yes. But to those who believeth in me I offer eternal life!

The Easter Bunny (with submissive aspect): Amen, Lord. But, still you are not made of chocolate. And, with all due respect, Lord you’re not exactly…

The Risen Lord (beatifically): Go on, Bunny, I am a good listener.

The Easter Bunny: Well, Lord, I’ll be honest.

The Risen Lord: It is a commandment, sort of.

The Easter Bunny: You’re kind of…severe. At least Biblically.

The Risen Lord: I’m not a fun kind of guy? Is that what you’re saying?

The Easter Bunny: Not really, Lord.

The Risen Lord: You’re saying if I was funner, more people might like me? Believeth in my father’s mansion? Fit through the eye of the needle, and all that? Because that would be awesome.

The Easter Bunny: It’s not my place to give the Lord advice, is it.

The Risen Lord: No Bunny. But you have your little fur paw on the pulse of the people who shop at Target, they are my people, but they are buying dozens and dozens of marshmallow Peeps.

The Easter Bunny: Sugar is a drug, Lord.

The Risen Lord: Now that people have easy access to sugar, they no longer need religion? This is what you’re saying, isn’t it? I feared it: I must make myself sweeter.

The Easter Bunny: That would be a start. Maybe also no more condemning to death of idolatrous women?

The Risen Lord: Maybe.

The Easter Bunny: You know Lord, I have an idea.

The Risen Lord: What’s that?

The Easter Rabbit: You could hop.

The Risen Lord: “Hop?” How does one “hop?” I have never done it. In the Bible, there is no “And then, to Galillee, Jesus hopt.”

The Easter Rabbit: The Bible’s loss, Lord.

The Risen Lord: I do feel mighty good that I have second life, though. Might this joy be expressed by a “hop” ?

The Easter Rabbit: It would be meet and right to also add a skip and a jump, Lord.

The Risen Lord: Well, if it is meet and right.

The Easter Rabbit: Shall I start us off, on the good foot, Lord?

The Risen Lord: Do. You go along and I’ll follow after. I think I might improvise and cause some trees to burst into bloom and fruit chocolate ganache truffles.

The Easter Rabbit: How masterfully thou causeth the trees to bring forth candy.

The Risen Lord: This is how I should have been using my talents all along! Hopping and confecting! Arise, marshmallow fluff! Thunder down like justice, jellybeans. Awake, pecan and caramel turtles, awake!  In that basket do you have a Peep? I’ve always wanted to try one. There was nothing but carob bean back in the Bible. Blech. I can probably make the best, most heavenly Peep you ever had, given that I am what I am and that is the Sweet Lord.

Elizabeth Bastos is a SAHM of two under five. She used to work in corporate and foundation relations, and before that, as a writer for the Museum of Science, Boston. Now she moonlights, writing, and in her free time, she cooks complicated French pastries to tempt her children into doing what she asks. In April, her new food column will be on the menu at FnS.
http://www.goodybastos.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/ElizabethBastos

Comments

  1. How great is it to see you over here?? Wonderful stuff, love the picture.

  2. Hi There found you from Alexandra over at good Day Regular people….Ill be back to visit..!

  3. Amen! :)

  4. HA! Brilliant!

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  8. Well…I’d still eat it.

  9. The music play on my PSP, i try to sync the music to the psp with windows meida player and it WONT WORK!! and if there is a song that will go on it says on the psp that there are no songs! but some of my memory stick is used up….im confused plz someone help

  10. Recently after upgrading to GEN D3, I have been faced with an annoying (but not critical) bug were the X and O buttons swap. On the XMB it is normal where X is to confirm and O is to cancel, but as soon as the game launches, they swap and I don’t know why.

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  12. I tried to go the old Pandora’s Battery method on my friend’s slim but it just shows a black screen then turns off leading me to believe he has one of the un-pandorable psp(s). I tested the Pandora’s Battery on my phat psp and sure enough it works so that eliminates that.

  13. Thanks.

  14. Please help if you can, I have a PSP 2001 I bought about a years ago with CFW PSP 2001 CFW 5.00 M33-6 with stock psp battery, I have 2 16Gig memory sticks one I have now found is a fake magic gate and one a real one both worked equally as well before. I have over the past year had no problems what so ever with it reading and playing games off the memory stick however, not all ISO’s or COS’s could be seen or played but, the ones that would play played with no problem.

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    This post was mentioned on Twitter by ElizabethBastos: It’s T – 3 hours to the most fabulous Easter basket ever. http://funnynotslutty.com/?p=998

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