News Feed of My House – stark. raving. mad. mommy.

News Feed of My House: The Talking Tree Has Nothing on Us

by stark. raving. mad. mommy.

There is a tree with a live Twitter / Facebook feed.  Um, yeah.  A tree.  With all kinds of equipment stuck to it.  I’m not sure what the tree had to say about having the stuff stuck to it. But it spouts revelations like, “It’s nice tree weather. Going to get some work done today.”  

By “work,” I assume the tree means photosynthesis.  Or clogging up the Interwebz with breaking news about photosynthesis.  

The tree has almost 7,000 Facebook friends.  Clearly this is a trend I need to get on top of.  

There is all kinds of inanimate crap in my life that could have their own feeds.  Here are some possibilities for how awesome your Facebook news feed could be.  


The Dust Bunnies  is at Under Your Couch (via Loopt).    


Sh-t My House Says You suck. Clean me.  


Mouthy Minivan I needed an oil change 2,000 miles ago.  I’m feeling cranky so I’m going to periodically flash the ‘check tire’ light just to freak you out.  

The Laundry Chronicles That’s right.  Keep ignoring us.  You have *no idea* what kind of mold is in the bottom of the blue hamper, bee-yotch.  


Sh-t My House Says I am so sick of hearing The Laundry Chronicles whine. I am covered in crumbs.  

1 person likes this.  


The Laundry Chronicles OMG, I hate when people talk crap about me behind my back.  Sometimes I just feel like no one understands me.   


The Dust Bunnies We are holding these Star Wars characters hostage until you give us more Goldfish crackers.  


The Laundry Chronicles: I mean, the kitty litter is in here with me.    


Mouthy Minivan You’d think with as many trips to Target as I make, someone could buy me an air freshener.  


Yer Oven is feeling lonely.  


Mike Rowave Ahahaha that’s cuz you old skool.  


The Dust Bunnies  is at Under Your Bed (via Loopt).    


The Dust Bunnies  We found your underwear.    

1 person likes this.

stark. raving. mad. mommy. is the mother of four children, ages four to nine.  She writes about insanity, parenting, and the Lego obsession known as Asperger Syndrome at


  1. Hahahaha, loved it!

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