Kablooey’s Annual Halloween Guide Part II

Click here for Kablooey’s Part I

 

Oxymoronic Costumes I Found Online:

 

funny mental

Because serious mental illness is hawt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Sexy Straight Jacket
2. Sexy Skunk
3. Sexy Sea Turtle
4. Sexy Watermelon
5. Sexy Statue of Liberty

 

K A B L O O E Y’s Halloween Pet Peeves:

 

1.    Designers of every costume listed above.  Just because you cut the Willie Wonka costume off at the crotch doesn’t mean you’ve created “Sexy Willie Wonka.”  

2.  Lurches who pretend not to be home, even though you can clearly see them moving around in there.

3.  Pilfers who steal the whole bowl of candy left outside by folks who aren’t home. 

4. So-called grown-ups who take the costume thing waaaay too seriously, thus pulling focus away from the children, the rightful owners of Halloween. 

 5. Sadists who make your kid go through their lame, non-scary, self-proclaimed “Haunted House” before giving up the treats.

 6. The earthier-than-though, who give out recycled crayons or apples instead of candy.

 

Do-It-Yourself Costume Ideas For Reality TV Fans:

 

Hoarder:
Supplies: king size flat sheet, an enormous quantity of crap, hot glue gun
Directions: cut head-sized hole in center of sheet and start gluing! (Old TV Guides,
a few decades’ worth of Time magazine, toilet paper rolls, tuna cans and stuffed
kitties make ideal additions to your costume.)

Woman on “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant:”
Supplies: dress or skirt, naked baby doll
Directions: hide doll under dress until time is right, then get into crouch, scream “It hurts! What’s happening to me?!”and catch doll before it hits the ground.
 

K A B L O O E Y

K A B L O O E Y is a 47 year old non-practicing filmmaker who lives with Phineas at an undisclosed suburban location. Their three kids are Moochie (6), Lonzie (20) and The Big Puppy (22). She (who am I kidding, I’m writing this myself) tweets @kblooey and has two goals: 1) To make creative work a central part of my life, and 2) To keep my family from needing the services of the Supernanny.

Comments

  1. Busting my own comment cherry. Wow, that’s sad.

  2. Happy Whore-a-Day! ;)

  3. Thanks, Gisele. Hope your Whoreween is filled with treats and tricks. If you know what I mean (nudge, nudge; wink, wink.) I think I’m writing to Giselle and myself, but if anybody else reads this, go check out Giselle’s take on the empowering feminist message behind the breast-baring Sexy Beaver costume. That’s a poor paraphrase, actually. I fully support freedom of choice, of course, even as it extends to Slutoberfest.

  4. I was going to attempt to turn my husband’s Ghost Buster costume from last year into a SEXY Ghost Buster….but when I put it on…the crotch was located at my knees so that didn’t work.

    Instead….I went out to a bar as a SEXY PTA member.

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