Kid Still Life – Elizabeth Bastos

Among the crap of a life with kids can be found: Art. Toys, blocks, bikes, bike helmets, and leftover sandwiches that have been left just so, as if they are a still life done by an Old Master, if the Old Masters were a six-year-old boy with an interest in farting, and penguins.

I take pictures of what I find, and provide a title. Sometimes the result is poignant, reflecting something deep and humane in our nature, such as a pig sniffing a penguin’s butt, and sometimes it is funny.

Among The Cool Birds, Pig, Trying Like Hell


  hey, Monkey, let’s never learn to read. We’ve gotten this far: out of the toy box, without reading.”



Jittery and Trepidatious and Okay, Sure, A Tad Defensive (But Definitely Not Angry)



What Parenting Feels Like: Very Small Truck, Enormous Fucking Decorative Seasonal Gourds.

This is what I see, what are these images telling YOU?



elizabeth-bastos-writerElizabeth Bastos

Elizabeth Bastos is a WAHM (pronounced “wham!”) of two in the Baltimore suburbs. Her work has appeared on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Big Jewel, and the Book Bench blog of the New Yorker magazine. When she is not writing, she is eating something made with whipped cream. What could that be? You guessed it. Whipped cream. Straight up. She blogs about all things cheesy, also parenting, at


  1. Pretty neat, Liz.

  2. This is a fun game.

    I’m going to do it before it’s too late and my kids learn to pick up.

    Wait, whaa??

    That’ll never happen.

    Off to caption the mess…er, toys in still life…now.

    You are so original, Ms. Bastos.

  3. I was going to say this is hysterical but then I read some nonsense comment about kids picking up and now I feel confused. I need someone to talk to.

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