FnS Interviews – GIRLS OF RELAPSE 2012

relapse theatre calendar

R.S.V.P. HERE (or just tell them how hot you are for them)
**Interviews with calendar girls below**

Thursday, November 10th, 2011
Red Carpet Pre-Party: 8PM
Talent Showcase: 9PM
DJ Dan Weeks: 11PM – close

$15 Calendars – One Night Only Special!! (Regular Price $20) Get yours autographed by all the girls!!


Miss December – Kristi Oliver

What is your best feature?

I’d have to say the little folds of skin that live where my arm pit and breast meet. They are innocently involved in a meeting of parts that simply have more power. It’s important to notice them because they are being pimped out in a sense.

Who is your biggest Relapse Theatre crush?
Well, since Hoyt and FrogPie are gone now, I’d have to say Kellan’s balls. Most people just envy them from afar, I, however, want to love them.

What makes you giggle?
Hot Dogs. Nothing is more delightful than a weiner trapped between a bread vagina.

What makes you wiggle?
Crabs. I once thought I had crabs and started wiggling.


Miss August – Caroline Allen

(Ms. August……I refuse Miss. I am a professional)

What is your best feature?
Uh….uhhhhmmmm….hmmmmmmm….urrrrrmmmm…OK! My honesty. You can trust me. I have nothing to hide, and I care a lot. Seriously. (also my boobs…have you SEEN them?)

Who is your biggest Relapse Theatre crush?
At first is was Greg Kinsey, but he moved to NYC. Then, it was Lev Gartman, but he moved to NYC. Now, I’d just have to say: The Deckerettes. Have you SEEN them? So hot!

What makes you giggle?
Farts and puppies

What makes you wiggle?
Captain & Coke (my official life partner) and Sam Cooke


Miss February – Dulcé Sloan

What is your best feature?

Its a tie between my boobs and my smile. My smile lights up a room but my boobs light up a man’s pants.

Who is your biggest Relapse Theatre crush?
My biggest relapse crush is Joel Byars, because his mustache reminds me that the seventies were a great time for black people.

What makes you giggle?
What makes me gigle is a well thought out joke. Or a well done bait and switch.

What makes you wiggle?
If a man rubs the small of my back, we are headed directly to sexy time. that or eating popcorn off my boobs. Either way I’m wiggling.


Miss May – Daphne Brown

What is your best feature?

I’ve been told my best feature is my smile, but that’s because only a select few get to see my butt hole.

Who is your biggest Relapse Theatre crush?
I have two Relapse crushes. Rachel Stuart and Brittney Pope. I didn’t think they were all that hot until I saw their calendar pictures, so everyone should probably check those out.

What makes you giggle?
Honestly, every show at Relapse. Working there and being surrounded by amazing, funny people all the time brightens all my days. All of that, plus the words “butt” and “hole”.

What makes you wiggle?
Yo Gabba Gabba

*****THE GIRLS*****

Miss January :: Sally Ann Adair :: Actor/Improvisor/Director
Miss February :: Dulce Sloan :: Stand-Up Comedienne
Miss March :: Brittney Jordan Pope :: The Deckerettes
Miss April :: Robin Spera :: Your Mom’s Mom Improv
Miss May :: Daphne Brown :: The Deckerettes
Miss June :: Jen Thrasher :: Ground Control/Improv! the Musical
Miss July :: Sarah Simmons Turner :: Automatic Improv/Relapse University
Miss August :: Caroline Allen :: Black Box Comedy Productions/Improv! The Musical
Miss September :: Rachel Stuart :: The Deckerettes
MIss October :: Laura Lewis :: Down the Ramp Comedy
Miss November :: Shellie Schmals :: 2Girls3Eyes Improv/Community Affairs
Miss December :: Kristy Oliver :: 2Girls3Eyes Improv


Relapse Theatre :: www.RelapseComedy.com
VONschmalhausen :: www.VONschmalhausen.com
Beard & Stache’ Bars :: www.BeardBars.com
Charles Gregory Salon :: www.CharlesGregorySalon.com
Creative Loafing :: www.CLATL.com
Funny Not Slutty :: www.FunnyNotSlutty.com
Harmonie HPNOTIQ :: www.Hpnotiq.com/Harmonie
HPNOTIQ :: www.Hpnotiq.com
Offhand Photography :: www.OffhandPhotography.com


  1. Mama Dulcé is my great great grandbig. <3 that funny girl!

Leave a Reply to Jas Cancel reply