Eat This! on Funny not Slutty – Real recipes, made real funny.
by Heather Davis
My momma didn’t like saying balls, so she called them Pearl Cookies, but where’s the fun in offering someone “pearl cookies”? Wouldn’t it be so much better to say, “Would you like some balls?” or “Have you tried these balls?” or “Pop one of these balls in your mouth.” And this recipe is very versatile: If you want white balls, you can roll ‘em in powdered sugar. If you want hairy balls, you can roll them in coconut. If you want lumpy balls, you can roll them in chopped nuts. If you want blue balls, you can make the whole recipe naked and then just throw them in the freezer without eating any!
1 stick butter
1 6 oz can frozen orange juice concentrate*
1 box powdered sugar
1 box vanilla wafers
1 c chopped nuts (I could have written pecans, but “nuts” flows better when making balls)
Soften the butter and then mix it with the thawed out oj.
*I’m not even sure Florida growers make 6 oz cans of frozen oj concentrate anymore, so you might actually have to measure 6 oz. OR you could double the recipe and make loads of balls! Wouldn’t you love to have a freezer full of balls? It’s actually Lorena Bobbitt’s dream…
Crush the vanilla wafers in the blender. I know what you’re thinking… I didn’t think my blender would work without a shot of tequila in it either, but the truth of the matter is that you can do other things with your blender besides mix margaritas. These balls are one of the very few reasons you would WANT to.
Add the box of powdered sugar, vanilla wafers and nuts to the butter and oj mixture. Form the goo into balls. You can use your hands or you can use a scoop. I use my hands if I plan on taking a shower afterwards.
After your balls are rolled – I feel like I should call you “Dawg” after saying that sentence – What the hell… After your balls are rolled, Dawg, put them in the freezer for at least an hour then serve. They will keep in the freezer indefinitely. I always make up an extra batch and take them to my momma’s freezer and sometime in the middle of summer, I’ll announce to her, “I think I want to eat some balls” then I’ll go get them out of her freezer while she tells me I should really watch my mouth.
Heather Davis -
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Heather Davis, Minivan Momma, has figured it all out. Follow along as she shares her tricks on how to juggle being a full-time, work-outside-the-home momma with two crazy, start-the-day-fighting daughters all while keeping her home neat and tidy, her toilets clean and her husband satisfied in bed (and not just on Saturday nights!). OK – it’s only one “trick”. The trick is to ignore it all. Also, drink lots of sangria. And laugh every day. You’re always welcome to laugh at her! http://www.facebook.com/IAmMinivanMomma