K A B L O O E Y’s Dope of the Day – Bieber is no Reader

dope of the daybeebs

Justin Bieber just passed his high school equivalency exam, and apparently, he’s really stoked to be done.

“At school, usually you have to do a lot of writing and reading. I’m really not into that stuff. I like to be out there.”

Usually, he hires a Harvard grad to read him his assignments and a Yalie to do his writing.

“It’s awesome!  They don’t cost that much, and when they wear out I just buy new ones.  And sometimes I make them have chicken fights in the pool when we’re just kickin’ it after a show.”

All right, I made up that second quote, but the first one’s real.  And this from a kid looked up to by millions of impressionable, hormone-fueled tweens.  He also said that his jet-setting lifestyle has enabled him to travel the world and that’s given him a different perspective.

OK.  That’s a valid point.  Had he said he’d learned tolerance and gratitude by being exposed to different cultures, or that book learning isn’t as important as experiential learning, I’d have given him a pass.  The kid works hard, no doubt, and he’s only 18.

He’s never been photographed snorting anything, dressing in a Nazi uniform, or rear-ending a station wagon full of nuns.  He’s even giving two bucks from every bottle of Eau de Bieber, his new “parfum” that smells like hair gel, baby bunnies and one of his sweat-soaked hoodies, to the Make-A-Wish Foundation (only the charity part could be verified at this time.)

But he called reading and writing “stuff” that he’s “not into,” as though he were talking about growing orchids or putting pineapple on pizza, and that’s just plain dumb.  And because of that, I’m naming him Dope of the Day.


  1. So many reasons to love this kid.

    May he never fall from grace.

  2. :) ha ha! loved this. as a former teacher, i’m bummed, but as margaret’s mom, i’ll just say he has other “stuff” on his mind.


  3. Hmmm . . . at least he took the test?


  1. [...] teen who hates “stuff” like reading and writing?  I did, and wrote about it for my Dope of the Day column on that rockin’ site Funny not [...]

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