Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 9

What is out Purpose for being on planet Earth - Ask the Suniverse on FnS
Dear Suniverse, 

What is our purpose for living on planet Earth?

There’s Got to Be a Point, Right?

Dear Pointy,

Of course there’s a point. If we weren’t on planet Earth, we’d be stuck on one of those ridiculously underpopulated and barren planets like Mars, where the monsters are and there is no carry out.

Here’s the thing:  Our point is to be. Be here. Be here now.  And enjoy it.  I know, I know, there’s a lot of misery and angst and pollution, and believe me, at 3:00am WHEN I WAKE UP EVERY GODDAMN DAY, it’s hard to keep my mind from whirring about crises both personal and universal [Did I forget to pay our car insurance? Do we have enough money to pay our car insurance? What happens if we end up like all those people whose health insurance premiums become astronomical and then end up with a debilitating illness that wipes us out financially and we have to move in with MY PARENTS? WHY DO WE NOT HAVE UNIVERSAL COVERAGE YET?].

BUT. The most important thing is to remember that the reason for being on planet Earth is to be present and enjoy it. There may be a heaven. I hope there is a hell for those people who are hateful and believe in hell for being, oh, gay or something. I particularly want them to go to that hell. Or the version of hell from South Park. Either way.

What? Oh. Just be kind and BE. Except you don’t have to be kind to the douchebags. Those fuckers are just asking for it.

And remember, it’s always important to know where your towel is at.

Fully present in THIS moment,


Dear Suniverse,

What are your favorite writer’s resources websites?

Searching for the Answers

Dear Searchy,

Hmmm . . . see, now, this is tricky.  I like writer’s resources because I like finding information on how to get my words out there. I HATE writer’s resources, because I am chock full of the envy monster that likes to eat my innards and reduce me to a roiling boil of agita when I see that other people are reaching their goals.

I may need some meds.

What you may need depends on what you’re writing. Different genres have different sites that are of varying quality, and I can’t speak to any of them because I am in a weird space and haven’t really honed in yet on a particular genre. I do know, from prior experience, that the best writers’ sites are those that are full of positive people.  Sure, you need someone to be kind of a bastard when they review your work, but if you’re having a shitty day and you just want someone to be there for you, you want a site that is full of healthy competition but not dicks.  Romance Divas is a great one, for example.

There are general sites like Writers Digest which has books, online materials, webinars and seminars as well as links to every bit of information you could want.  NaNoWriMo, the site for the National Novel Writing Month is also awesome.  The novel writing month is in November, but there is always something going on there.  And Studio 30 Plus has great prompts and a wonderful community and the whole site has been recently revamped.

Please note that NONE of these sites knows who I am or how awesome I am, although they will all RUE THE DAY they decided to ignore me.

The best thing to do is follow writers and agents on Twitter – those in your genre, sure, but others, too – and see where they take you.  Lost of agents and writers will have contests, including an opportunity to review your query letters or even when they are accepting submissions.  Because the people who are your best resource are those doing the work.

Slowly realizing that I need to get my shit together,


Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse.
Enjoy, lovers.


  1. That’s some good writerly advice that I will start following straightaway.

  2. I completely agree with this. Those douchebags really are asking for it sometimes am I right? As a hot funny woman I really hate the douchebags so I don’t know why but this really hits home for me. Sorry for the rant but it’s just great.

  3. Kablooey says:

    Wow, people really seem to be yearning for meaning in their lives, huh? I think I better get with the program and start living in the now, smelling the coffee and then writing about it with passion and conviction. But I just bought Angry Birds in Space and am now conflicted about what I should do. (Really, I just want to make sure you don’t declare a fatwa on me because of what you wrote on your blog about grudges. Sometimes you scare me a little bit…)

    • kablooey: stay away from fruit ninja.


      P.s. you already discovered meaning of life: kindness.

    • Oh, I’m always surprised that I scare people.

      I mean, sure, I hold grudges like a motherfucker, but really, I’m not THAT bad. So long as you agree with me. Which you do. So we win!

      Good luck with Angry Birds. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

  4. The incredible galactic badassness that is Suniverse: smart, crafty, full of heart, and downright accurate.

  5. Shit. I never know where my towel is.

    (Don’t worry. I’m not asking to borrow yours. In fact, I have this weird cousin – seriously fucked up – who taught me how to dry off from a shower or pool excursion without a towel. You apparently just wipe your skin. And the droplets just magically flick off your body. Like magic.)


    I agree with everything you said in both responses to pointy and searchy. Especially with the grudgeoning for douchebags who hate gays. And with the wondering why we don’t have universal healthcare. And with the knowing we need to get our shit together.

    But first I have to find my damn towel.
    Because I’m not as craptastic as my cousin by a long shot.


  6. Dry off without a towel?

    I cannot even fathom. I am a person who dries in between her individual toes. TWICE. Because otherwise? YUCK-O CITY.

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