My new sex toy, or should I say, my boyfriend’s and my new sex toy, is a full length, 250 pound, mahogany wood mirror. Sex toy, shmeck toy, call it what you will, but my boyfriend and I looked hot last night, getting down in front of the mirror in our bedroom.
Do you and yours watch yourselves in a mirror? Have you ever watched yourselves? Do you have a mirror, strategically placed in your boudoir, that allows you to view your sexapades, in all of your naked raunchiness? Do you think that this kind of behavior is atypical or deviant? As shocking as this may sound, there are those that actually do. Or are you like me and my lover, who bought the heaviest, largest, and most expensive mirror in Home Goods? No? Okay, I guess I’m the only me.
In a recent survey for The 50 Best Kinky Ideas for Sexy Loving, #3 was having sex in front of a full length mirror. Really? I don’t consider mirror sex kinky at all. If you think about it, we look at ourselves in mirrors all day long, for various reasons, and to me, sex just happens to be one more reason.
Come on, who among us doesn’t check out our asses in our bathroom mirrors, by balancing precariously on the edge of the bathtub, as we lift our gluteal fold, trying to see what it would look like if only it was elevated just a few feet, eh inches. That gravity is a she-bitch.
Our mirror leans up against a wall, perpendicular to our bed. My boyfriend will stand in front of it, completely naked, flexing, posing and grabbing his manness. I’m convinced that he should’ve been in porn. I’m convinced that he’s convinced that he should’ve been in porn. Having mirror sex is like watching and starring in my very own porno movie, (I would bet that more than a few of us have had this fantasy) only without the horrific music, and listening to the even more horrific, and annoying, moaning and groaning from complete strangers. And the best part is that I didn’t have to audition for the part.
Mirror sex is visually stimulating, and it’s fun to pretend to be someone else. I like to pretend that I have ginormous breasts. This so-called kinky act can heighten a couple’s sexual experience. I’m sorry, but watching my boyfriend’s and my various body parts thrust, grind and writhe around the bed, is downright pornorific. And, unlike making an actual movie, we don’t have to worry about leaving a paper trail, as it were.
In the beginning of our relationship, I was a bit more self conscious than my boyfriend was, when we first brought a mirror into our repertoire. I couldn’t stop focusing on my imperfections, and I thought that my lover would be eyeing them as well. The truth is, he was, and still is, more interested in looking at his cock, in all of its cock glory, as he does his best Dirk Diggler impersonation.
After much practice, I’ve learned how to sprawl on the bed, in positions that are most flattering, so as to accentuate the positive, while camouflaging those pesky negatives. One such position that I’ve grown quite fond of is laying backwards, upside down, over the edge of the bed, as my hair cascades seductively against the bed frame like in any respectable and classy Playboy spread. This allows me to see myself in the mirror, where my boobs look like at least a C cup, which is really all that I can hope for, (on a good day) and the blood rushing to my head, makes me look like I have a tan. It’s really a win-win, so go ahead, take a look.
My first headshot was my mugshot, taken after getting arrested for tagging in my hometown. Other lofty accomplishments include working out at the NYU gym alongside Adam Sandler, while attending film school. Iʼve written for film and television, worked as a stand up, and written and performed two solo shows in NY & LA. Work appears in Pilates Style Magazine, Blogher.com, ModernMom.com, and EvolvedWorld.com among others. I blog about being caught between life as a single girlfriend and a life being a stepmom-ish-type. Did I say caught? I meant trapped. www.thegirlfriendmom.blogspot.com