Eat This! Show Me The Money! Lemonade Pie

lemon pie

My sweet little baby decided she wanted to have a lemonade stand. We live close to the corner, so I was convinced that with her sweet face and my knock-off brand of powdered lemonade, she’d totally rake in the dough. She sat out in the heat for hours (and not just because I told her to not come home until she recouped my $1.75 investment). No one stopped. Not one single grandmotherly-type figure. I know the economy is bad, but c’mon! She’s cute enough to warrant a 50 cent cup of watered-down lemonade.

I walked to the corner where her little table with the crayon sign was set up and saw the issue: The sisters in the block before ours had their own stand. AND? They had their baby brother strapped in his stroller for curb appeal. Oh hellz no. This would not work. No one steals my baby’s lemonade traffic. We would be back tomorrow, and we would be ready to dominate. Three letters, my friends: P I E.

What we needed for the lemonade pie recipe:

  • Graham cracker crust – I could have made this myself, but for $2 the little tree elves make one that’s just as good
  • 1 can of sweetened condensed milk – I’ve never actually drank this stuff. Does anyone? And what’s the difference between condensed and concentrated? Get back to me on that, will ya?
  • 1 6 oz can of frozen lemonade concentrate – anyone know yet? Concentrate vs. condensed? No? Well then… By the way, most stores only carry 12 oz cans of frozen concentrated juices – guess you’ll just have to make 2 pies.
  • 1 small tub of whipped cream – make sure it’s not frozen when you use it. If it’s frozen, you’ll end up just beating the heck out of it for no good reason.
  • 1 small package of cherry Kool-aid mix (without sugar) (optional) This will make your pie sweet and colorful. Your choice. You need to ask yourself this question: How much do you think this will matter to your market of grocery shopping grandmas and almost-retired executives? If you think it’ll bring in the dough, add it. Lemonade stands are hard markets, yo.

Toss all ingredients (except the crust) into a large bowl and beat it like you plan on beating the neighbor kids at their own lemonade game. Pour it into the prepared graham cracker crust and freeze for a couple of hours. If you let your kid help, you’ll then top it with sprinkles and colored sugar. Whatever.

The next day, cut the pie into serving pieces, make a bigger LEMONADE STAND WITH PIE sign and use paint this time. None of that crappy crayon crap. Serve on colorful plates that say Happy Birthday and charge a dollar a slice. Turns out, grandmas will stop for pie.

Take that cute kid in stroller. If you can’t top the pie, stay off the corner, Jack.


Heather Davis

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Heather Davis, Minivan Momma, has figured it all out. Follow along as she shares her tricks on how to juggle being a full-time, work-outside-the-home momma with two crazy, start-the-day-fighting daughters all while keeping her home neat and tidy, her toilets clean and her husband satisfied in bed (and not just on Saturday nights!). OK – it’s only one “trick”. The trick is to ignore it all. Also, drink lots of sangria. And laugh every day. You’re always welcome to laugh at her!


  1. Ha! Love it!! You go momma!!

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