Like the undead, most mothers stumble around the kitchen. Who has the life energy to stay up all night baking for the vampires’ (I mean kids’) school Halloween bake sales? Try these recipes. They are no-brainers.
The Pecan Boo!
To melted white chocolate, add a single pecan, orange food coloring…and leave it at that.
Trick or Treat or Whatever
Take a pretzel stick, tape black chenille pipe cleaner cat ears onto one end of it, if you really want to, which you really don’t, so just bring in the pretzel sticks.
Mini Pumpkin Pies
Purchase anything with the word “mini” and “pumpkin” and/or “pie” and/or “on sale” in the name, and then microwave on high, in short bursts. Insert lollypop sticks, or sticks you find lying around in the yard, and allow to cool completely.
They are invisible. Because you didn’t make them.
Caramel Fleur de Sels In Spooky Shapes
With your clog smoosh store-bought individually-wrapped square caramels until they look just right.
Melt black licorice pieces in muffin tins, and while that is happening, or not happening (does licorice melt? what’s the meaning of life?), take a nap.
Pull My Zombie Finger
Insert pretzel logs into finger-shaped candy molds. Melt colored candy drops. Combine. Allow to rest. Then arrange zombie fingers in a fruit bowl in as menacing a manner as possible among the apples.
Elizabeth Bastos is a WAHM (pronounced “wham!”) of two in the Baltimore suburbs. Her work has appeared on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Big Jewel, and the Book Bench blog of the New Yorker magazine. When she is not writing, she is eating something made with whipped cream. What could that be? You guessed it. Whipped cream. Straight up. She blogs about all things cheesy, also parenting, at http://www.goodybastos.blogspot.com/.