Fake Pot Pie with Hard Core Mashed Potatoes
The day after Thanksgiving always throws me for a loop. I mean I just spent approximately fourty-two friggin’ hours cooking a meal that takes approximately thirteen minutes to devour but will set out for six hours until it’s picked plum apart. The day after Thanksgiving, then, someone will inevitably say, “Let’s have leftovers.” Ahhh, hell no. We ate the leftovers at about ten thirty last night, and it’s a wonder anyone is even still hungry considering we had enough to feed a squadron of army dudes and actually only had ten people at the meal.
But, eaters be eatin’ and you’ll need to have something to feed them. Here’s my fool-proof plan to earn a spot in the “Day-After-Thanksgiving-Hall-Of-Fame.”
Here’s what you’ll need:
- 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
- 2 cans of turkey gravy (yes cans… you want real gravy, make it yourself)
- 1 can of mixed vegetables
- 1 c shredded cheese
- 2 frozen pie crusts
- 3 large potatoes
- ¾ c half and half
- ½ c butter
Two weeks before Thanksgiving, boil two chicken breasts. Add salt and pepper. When the chicken is done, remove it from the broth and add more water.
Chop the chicken. Place the chicken in a large mixing bowl. (Save the broth in the freezer.) Add the cans of gravy, shredded cheese and the can of veggies. Be sure to drain the veggies really, really well. Mix this all together and pour half into each of the frozen pie crusts. Freeze these pies until you are ready to use them. Set them out for an hour before baking. Do not tell anyone they are in the freezer. No one need to know that you threw the real leftovers away last night while everyone was sleeping on the couches and not helping you clean up.
Bake for 30 minutes at 350.
While that’s baking, it’s time to get hard-core and actually make some mashed potatoes. Chop the potatoes (skins and all – it’s how they’ll know these potatoes are real, yo) and add them to the saved broth – it’s okay if you add water to the broth to have enough liquid to cover the potatoes. Bring to a boil and let them boil until the potatoes are really soft. Drain the potatoes and add the half and half, salt and pepper and butter. Mix those puppies up with an electric mixer. Anyone who tells you that you should actually hand-mash the potatoes with a masher has taken one too many happy pills.
When the pie is finished baking, dollop (What? Its’ a word.) the potatoes on top of the pie and bake for 10 more minutes. Remove the pie and scoop into serving bowls.
There. Your family will think you’ve slaved all day yet again and worked a miracle with the sloppy leftovers when you actually just whipped the crap out of some potatoes and called it fancy. Bam. You’re Paula Freakin’ Dean.
Of course, if someone says, “Let’s go out and get burgers” then pretend you know nothing about the frozen chicken pie in the freezer.
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