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About the Author:
Timothy Ferriss, called “The Superman of Silicon Valley” is author of “The 4-Hour Body“, the #1 New York Times best seller “The 4-Hour Workweek.” as well as the newly released “The 4-Hour Chef.” Now Timothy has broken down lifestyle barriers for his mommy readers with his newest book release – “The 4-Hour Mommy Week.”
Kids, kids, kids. All day, every day, right? Being a mom doesn’t have to be a 24/7 soul-crushing grind. Do you really need to spend hours on end cradling babies or tiger-momming your tweens? That sort of outmoded helicopter parenting only leads to a downward spiral of juvenile detention, herpes and an obsession with Maroon Five. It doesn’t have to be that way.
And that’s why Timothey Ferriss wrote “The 4-Hour Mommy Week.”
What’s the secret to being the best mom you can be? Surprisingly, it’s by spending less time with your children. How do you do that without being brought up on charges? It’s incredibly easy! Everyone’s a great parent to a kid they never see!
Studies have determined that 80% of your life is spent dealing with 20% of your shit – or maybe it’s that 20% of your time should be spent on 80 proof vodka. I think that’s it.
So figure out how you’re wasting the most time. Is it feeding your kids? Doing laundry? Or is it playing yet another mind numbing game of Candyland, where your kid tries to cheat and you have to decide if you’re going to let that shit slide, or crack down on the Pussy Riot Grrl In Training Putin-style?
Whatever your parenting style, you can save thousands of precious hours by outsourcing these mundane tasks:
Hire cheap immigrant laborers to watch your kid’s soccer match – it’s not interesting, and there’s now way your kid is going pro, so who gives a shit?
Hire staff in India to teach your child their ABC’s on Skype. You may not be able to understand them very well, but think of how great they will do making your tech support inquiries.
You shouldn’t have to put your energy into something – like raising kids – that isn’t going to have a great return on investment. Let’s be honest – you’re not all raising Mozarts. Most of your spawn are going to top out at middle-management, at best. Don’t spend all your time on a kid who is going to be the temp scheduler at McWalMart.
Another critical timesaver is selective hearing. You need to hear the difference between the cries that say, “ I have just recently shit my pants and would like you to fix that situation for me, mother,” and the, “I’m only crying to be a little baby douche.”
The book is packed with time-savers like that!
Set up an auto responder – for example:
In an effort to get more done during the day, I’m only going to answer any questions or requests twice a day – for 15 minutes at 9:00am EST and once for 15 minutes at 4:00pm EST. Please be concise and limit your questions and requests to those times. I am doing this in order to be more efficient. That Trader Joe’s Chardonnay is not going to drink itself.
Also, institute a “less is more time” reduction of liquid intake for baby program, designed to gradually acclimate baby to drinking fewer ounces of liquid, thereby over a reasonable time period of, say, a week, dramatically reducing number of wet diapers per day. My research has shown that babies can get by on only 5.3 ounces of liquid a day (in temperate climates), despite powerful apple juice/sippy cup lobbies which would have you believe babies require twelve times as much liquid.
The best way to be a productive mommy and to enjoy yourself is to work diligently to outsource your life. The return on your investment is astonishing. If you truly work my 4 Hour Mommy Week system, think of all the amazing things you’ll have time to do!
- Bathe with Japanese snow monkeys.
- Wrestle anacondas in the Amazon.
- Become a Sri Lankan drug mule.
The only rules you need to follow are the rules you set yourself, as outlined in my book and future DVD series. Don’t buy into the world’s version of right and wrong. Just remember my 4 hour mommy week mantra: Let them cry — they’re babies! That’s what babies do.
(written with a little help from The Suniverse, Natalie Wall, Kablooey, Jacki Schklar and Lakia Ross)
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