Linda Roy Records ~ Wry Generation…The…Who?

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My teenage son and I were watching the concert for Hurricane Sandy Relief while The Who were onstage.  He knows their music.  His father and I are musicians and we make sure our kids are schooled in the classics, lest they end up with the misguided notion that John Mayer’s got it goin’ on or something.

So when the question came, I was caught totally off guard.  “Who is that?

“What do you mean ‘who is that’, it’s The Who!”

“Who?”

“Them! The Who!”

“Who, them?”

And so it went; own rendition of “Who’s On First”.

“I mean, who are those old guys and why’d the lead singer take his shirt off?

God, he’s like seventy…gross!”

Shit, I thought Daltrey held up pretty well, actually and Townshend was pretty damn spry.  They’ll probably be rockin’ “My Octogenarian” before long.

“Geez mom, they’re like your age, right?  They look like they’re in better shape.”

No! And…yeah…probably.

I so shouldn’t fry before I get old and by the way, I’d ground the kid if he ever left the house in the first place.  What is with these kids and their sardonic attitudes?  Did I just say “what is with these kids?”  Uh oh…

But this is what I get after years of polishing off plates of uneaten nuggets and fries.  “Mom, have you called Jenny yet?”  Damn.

So I gained a little weight.  But when your kid tells you the Golden Gods of rock who are currently teetering on the brink of their golden years are showing you up in the agility department, it’s the kind of soul crushing stuff that prompts you to order a conciliatory pizza.  It’s a vicious, ugly cycle and the last straw came when my favorite jeans split wide open as I bent down to retrieve a guitar pick.

Today I turned forty…blah, blah, blah…ish.  Staring down the barrel of fifty, I feel eighteen and I’m hoping I’ve still got the moves when I’m closing in on seventy.  Your mama’s still got it, kid, don’t you worry ‘bout that.

And right after I polish off this birthday cake, I’m putting you on the magic bus to school and heading to the gym in my quest to recapture my teenage waistband.

 

 

Teenage Waistband
Music by The Who
Lyrics by Linda Roy

Teenage Waistband

Out here on my street
All I do is eat
I get my back into Thanksgiving
A hoagie on white
A diet Sprite
I need jeans to be forgivin’

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Don’t cry
Avert your eye
There’s no more teenage waistband

Jenny take my hand
‘Cross the promised land
Deflate my tire
And get the calorie counter

The evidence is here
It’s written on my rear
Let’s get together
Before I get much rounder

Teenage waistband
No more teenage waistband
They’re all waisted…

 

Linda Roy

Linda Roy fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses alongside her guitar toting husband. Remarkably, after years of this they still haven’t killed each other.  They live in Jersey with their two boys (somebody’s gotta carry the amps) and she unleashes an inner Larry David on her blog Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom.

 

Comments

  1. This was great, lol!

    I saw that concert bit and kinda thought ol’ Roger should’ve kept his shirt on, but they still rocked, obviously. Heck, I’m only 40 and I know *I* have a strict shirt ON policy. He’s not in better shape than I am either.

    • I know! I was like “Good for you, Roger, but c’mon.” I mean, even Springsteen kept his shirt on. But there are always those performers who can’t seem to function without disrobing. We used to play with a band that you could literally time to the minute when each piece of clothing the lead singer was going to chuck. “There goes the vest…there goes the shirt…”

  2. monkeypainter says:

    if i had been drinking my water at the time i had read this, it would have sprayed all over my screen :)

    i lol’d so hard at “teenage waistband”
    (hopefully i did not scare my housemate)

    brilliant :)

  3. Thank you! I consider the screen spray to be the highest compliment!

  4. I have a 17-year-old daughter. She’s 5’1″ and maybe 100 lbs with rocks in her pcokets. Well she wears yoga pants all the time so she doesn’t have pockets, but anyway. She eats more than I do. I mean inhales food. I used to be able to do the same until I hot about 25 year old. Then, the calorie devil started taking my soul.

    Great job. I watcehd this yesterday and was laughing at “no more teenage waistband” then watche dmy daughter eat oreos.

    • I’m 5’1″ and I used to be 100 lbs. Oh, those were the days…before the damn metabolism decided to go on strike. But I’ll be back. I’m gonna get up right now and exercise. Wait – did someone say Oreos???

  5. I have watched this video three times now and rolled each time. And really admire how closely you matched the original recording. Just perfect.

  6. People always seem to be running into this problem. They should’ve thought about them when naming the band. Also I once had to perform the ” Who’s on first?” skit in front a class, and well if I see anything like it coming, I walk away. But that is not the point. I adore The Who, but I wasn’t part of the generation ( sadly). Teach your kid wisely!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Funny Not Slutty heeft een artikel over zangeres Linda Roy van de band Jehovah Waitresses. Zij zat met haar tienerzoon te kijken naar The Who op het Sandy Relief Concert (12 december 2012). De zoon wist niet wie The Who was, en merkte op een gegeven moment op: “Geez mom, they’re like your age, right?  They look like they’re in better shape“. Deze opmerking, en het feit dat ze 40 werd, inspireerde haar tot het opnemen van haar eigen versie van “Baba O’Riley”, getiteld “Teenage Waistband”. [...]

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