Continued from Part 1
Face washed: meh. SPF lotion on: maybe. Unibrow deconstruction attempt: Ugh. Okay, now I’m ready for makeup. The first makeup item is foundation, I don’t use that primer crap and I’m not entirely sure what that is all about either. This foundation is probably the exact color my face was at least three months ago and the only application method is swooping my finger in the mini tub and rubbing it between my hands and then aggressively attacking my face. I have no cotton balls or special brushes ….maybe someday I’ll have a nice looking container with a fancy black and white lace design, with some gold too, and will keep all my super soft makeup brushes in it and that will be all its used for. At this time my hands are now covered with the foundation and I usually find an old towel or “something” to wipe them on.
On to the blush! The blush consists of a small compact that contains its own little cheap black brush with a cracked lid that often falls off. Also I don’t remember when I bought it, like, at all. Swoop Swoop, and I’m done with that step. This is the point where I may put my glasses back on to find my coffee cup and chug it. I also might put on some chap stick, Burts Bees, in case you were wondering. Glasses back off and I reach for my eyeliner so I don’t look like I’m 13 years old on this particular day. I’ve got to get the eye liner on before the coffee shakes begin and after the hangover shakes end. Currently I don’t even have the right color because I accidently grabbed grey instead of black at my local Walgreens because I was in a hurry BECAUSE I probably had some cheese to eat at home or something, and grey is like a shitty black that just looks shitty.
I now get to make the judgment of using one of two mascaras I own. Mascara one has a really good brush but is an undetermined age because I acquired it from my sister who stated “It’s been in my bathroom forever and I just never use it.”. Mascara two is also pretty old and dried out, also the brush isn’t as good BUT its familiar and I should use it because I have it I guess. I usually go with Mascara one.
Am I done yet? Of course not! As poor as I am, I am still a girl so I have an entire bag of obtained lip glosses. I now get to make the choice of which degree of pink/shiny goes best with greasy hair. Finally, some optional cheap as dirt pressed face power and a spritz of whatever Bath and Body Works spray my friend got sick of and I’m ready to figure out which shirts and pants have acceptable versus unacceptable holes to wear out in public, that is, if I’m even going out in public today…..
Mirra Laes is an unemployed recent college graduate who lives in the frozen tundra, aka land of ice and snow, aka Green Bay, WI. Favorite activities include drunkenly tricking people into listening to her play Tom Petty covers and baking homemade dog treats plastered. Commonly found doing the dishes while listening to Louie CK Pandora station and being festive on holidays. She enjoys writing about the twilight zone that is everyday life.