Hello my little seal skins!
Welcome to summer! I don’t know about you because I make it a rule not to speak to the public, but I cannot wait for swimsuit season. Yes, Héléne Bouffant loves to wear the latest in swimwear paired with a glorious cover up. The less sophisticated among you might consider the dreadfully named “muu muu,” but I urge you to look at some of the wonderful cover up options hitting the runway these days.
Yes! See how well this covers her upper arms and collar bone?
I would like to show you some of your options for Summer 2013 swimwear. These are fresh off the runway, pussycats! I dare you to pick just one!
Here is a stunning design from this year’s Rio Fashion Week. Look at how seamlessly the designer was able to incorporate long sleeves and metal bars into a single suit. Usually you can only get one or the other. I should warn you, however, that you absolutely must not wear this suit in sunshine. No one enjoys the feeling of burning metal against their bosoms, except for me during a brief experimental period in the 1980′s.
Looking for something sexy to wear this summer? How about this liberating one-piece? All you need is two friends to help you get into it and a large bottle of sunscreen. Just think of the tan lines – you shall be the striped tigress of Chili’s or wherever people like you go to eat.
Have you ever gone to beach and felt underdressed? Ever been the laughingstock of the Hamptons because you forgot to bring your formal bikini? Try this suit with its dazzling built in necklace – it is perfect for all your black tie beach parties. Be vigilant, however! Do not fall for the gentleman who claims to be the coat/bikini check. You will not have a coat, and there is no such thing as a bikini check. Héléne Bouffant learned this the hard way at Diddy’s last White Party.
Now, this suit brings back memories. The shape is reminiscent of the snap crotch body suit I wore many years ago. It was very clever! It looked like a bustier on the top, but was actually a leotard that fastened beneath your velvet underground. Now, I always wore underwear with mine because I am a lady, and thus achieved the look of the swimsuit above whenever my Z Cavariccis came off (and goodness, did they ever come off back then!). Yet again, Héléne Bouffant was decades ahead of the trends.
Planning a beach wedding? Why not stun your guests in this lovely suit? From the sweetheart neckline to the frills and pouf, it is every girl’s dream wedding swimsuit. I also recommend the stacked heels and jaunty straw hat to complete the look. Although, if Héléne Bouffant was styling you on your big day, I would add a cane to give you that little bit of edge that comes from resembling a Baltimore pimp.
Enjoy your summer, dear ones! Next month, I will have a look at bridal fashion for all those looking to make a statement on their big day.
Meredith Bland is a freelance writer and mother of twins from Seattle. She blogs at Pile of Babies: Take a Knee, I Have Nonsense to Spew (http://www.pileofbabies.com).