by Jacki Schklar

Let’s start a new thing, shall we? It will be full of new stuff, like FnS happenings and fellow Funny not Sluttie’s upcoming events and recent accomplishments and latest gossip. But not your current weight loss spreadsheets, ok? I don’t want to hear anything about what you ate today unless it’s something yummy and fattening. I know it’s like a trend to become accountable through pathetic cries for attention social media posting your fucking diet lifestyle change and all.  But I’d rather have cybersex with this guy than read your calorie and fiber intake counts for the week on Facebook.

I was a part of another “first” recently, as the premiere Saturday Interview on Love in the Dumps.   That’s correct. A site for dysfunctional daters has chosen me as their flagship interview.  I talk about a topic I’m an expert on, which is meeting strange men on the internet. Rebound Rick, Sci-Fi Guy, and who can forget the Fur Trooper? Read and learn.

Iraqi Jackie

Everybody loves Iraqi Jackie, our favorite blogging U.S. soldier! I have some great news about Jackie! She has just returned home safe and sound after over a year of service overseas. This was her 2nd tour of duty. Let’s give her a great big virtual welcome home hug and thank you, shall we?

Do you have some Funny not Slutty news? Post it in the comment section here, or send to jacki@southernjewishprincess.com or post it in our Community.

Poor single people, they’re so pathetic!

http://www.deannesmith.com/

Linda Gambino is a witty comedian and writer and one of the funniest women on twitter. In addition to performing stand up, Linda works as a nationally recognized voice & on camera actress. In 2006, Linda won “The Funniest Person in Cincinnati” contest held at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, Ohio, and has been working in comedy clubs across the country ever since.
http://funnynotslutty.ning.com/profile/LindaGambino

Girls night! Natasha Leggerro and Iliza Shlesinger play at the Laugh Factory frequently. Catch them there: www.laughfactory.com

Natasha Leggero thinks women had it easier before feminism:

Iliza Shlesinger hates girls’ night:

Tracy the Cougar Comedian plays Comedy Gold, at the Landmark in Atlanta this Friday.

http://www.atlantacomedygold.com/this-weeks-lineups/

http://cougarcomedian.com/

Comedian, actor and writer Julia Bruce is Funny not Slutty of the Week! Julia works for Yuk Yuk’s touring across Canada. You can see her performing at the Bad Dog theatre.

You may also know Julia from, all together now… Everybody Hates Period Jokes.

http://funnynotslutty.ning.com/profile/JuliaBruce

http://julialol.com

ALL SKATE! is Parvesh Cheena, Tom Christensen, Michael Churven, Kerri-Anne Lavin, Sarah Moreau, Scott Passarella, Wendy Rosoff, & Lani Shipman. On the Second City Stage every Friday night at 8pm!

http://www.facebook.com/allskate

They’re fun, they’re fit, they’re twins. Identical twins, actually. Kymberly Williams-Evans and Alexandra Williams are international fitness experts and Funny not Slutty. They almost make me want to start working out. I said almost.

http://funnynotslutty.ning.com/profile/AlexandraWilliams
http://funnynotslutty.ning.com/profile/KymberlyWilliamsEvans
Ask Alexandra and Kymberly your fitness questions here:
http://funandfit.org/

Fabulosity Comes to Those Who Weight

Dearest Fun and Fit: Kymberly and Alexandra

I’m a glamorous lady person in need of your hilarious sarcasm and expert advice. I am on a quest to create home improvement magic but have found a limit to even MY glittertastic capabilities: that drill can get quite heavy after awhile. Even though I have a fantastically large amount of shoes I have an embarrassingly small amount of upper body strength. The only workout my arms probably get includes swiping my credit card at the hardware store and raising martinis to pour down my throat. Unfortunately I have a busy schedule of kicking ass, taking names and other general fabulosity. (I need) general upper body strength not just biceps – things like … painting ceilings or weedeating for long periods of time, etc. get to be a problem and I’m too independent (cheap) to hire that (&$%*&) out. I’m thinking I’m not the only girl who has this problem so I hope others can relate!! Can you recommend some effective exercises to tone me up in no time so I can show my house who’s boss? I toast my martini to you! Ok it’s really just a glass of cheap wine.

Yours always in Fabulosity,

Madame Sunday

Chattanooga, TN which I call Chattavegas because it makes me (and it) seem waaaay more glam

Dear Madame Sunday:

A: You want to look like the ladies above, but instead you are more like this:

:  CLICK TO READ MORE

Ever notice that Angelina Jolie makes a lot of action movies and her face always stays in a perfect model pose?

http://www.lisanovalive.com 

Humorist and professional speaker (with a gazillion speaking awards) Jeanne Robertson is a bad-mitton player, maybe, but not exactly an “outdoorsman”. But that did not stop her from going on an 8 day white water rafting trip in the Colorado River…

http://jeannerobertson.com/