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God Is the Ultimate Wingman – Linda Roy

May 19, 2013 By 8 Comments

Single Christian
God is blazing a technological trail into the 21st Century.

And how is the all knowing Creator doing it?

He’s running a dating site.

God is the ultimate wing man.  He’s the Heavenly Host with the most, the Almighty matchmaker. Because frankly, he’s tired of watching us mortals fuck it up. He’s seen the reality dating shows and decided it’d be a sin not to throw his two cents into the collective basket.

If you want something done right, do it Yourself.

People aren’t exactly flocking to church these days and He needs to increase his fan base. What better way than through the Otherworldly Wide Web.

Besides, now you don’t need background checks.  It’s nicely packaged as “mingling”. Suggests a level of purity.

I like that. There’s enough tawdry shit on the interwebs. Never mind that He’s got zero dating experience. It’s not like He’s going to hook you up with that schlub from Accounting who’s got the crusty Hustler collection stashed in the hall closet.  Plus, you’ll always have a Sunday morning brunch companion.

Not only that, but if you’re an aspiring actor or model, He’s got a website for that too! Wanna “shine for Christ in the entertainment industry”? Of course you do and God wants to be your agent. Oh…and sorry, I know becoming a Christian is automatic, but you might have to audition for this.

As for dating, it probably feels like you’ve spent 40 days and 40 nights flooded with the uncertainty of your romantic future. But fear not single Christian. On God’s dating site it’s raining men.

Hallelujah.

 

 

Single Christian

Music by Night Ranger
Lyrics by Linda Roy

 

Single Christian, oh the time has come

God’ll help you find the only one who’ll say

“Let’s Pray”

 

You’re ownin’ it

Trust your plight to Christ

He’ll find your Mr. Right

He runs a dating site

 

You’re smolderin’

It’s not like you’re Sasquatch

You’ll find God’s perfect match

The fish you’ll loaf to catch

 

Single Christian, oh the time has come

God’ll help you find the only one who’ll say

“Let’s pray”

 

‘Cause you’re smolderin’

Yeah, smolderin’

 

 

Linda Roy

Linda Roy fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses alongside her guitar toting husband. Remarkably, after years of this they still haven’t killed each other. They live in Jersey with their two boys (somebody’s gotta carry the amps) and she unleashes an inner Larry David on her blog Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom.

 

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Linda Roy Records ~ Wry Generation…The…Who?

February 26, 2013 By 11 Comments

photo
My teenage son and I were watching the concert for Hurricane Sandy Relief while The Who were onstage.  He knows their music.  His father and I are musicians and we make sure our kids are schooled in the classics, lest they end up with the misguided notion that John Mayer’s got it goin’ on or something.

So when the question came, I was caught totally off guard.  “Who is that?

“What do you mean ‘who is that’, it’s The Who!”

“Who?”

“Them! The Who!”

“Who, them?”

And so it went; own rendition of “Who’s On First”. [Read more...]

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“I Can’t Believe I Had Sex With You” – Valentine Music Vid by MVPleez – Natalie Wall

February 14, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Screen shot 2013-02-14 at 10.23.05 AM
With Valentine’s Day now upon us, there is only one thing we single ladies can do: shudder at our regrettable sexual lovers. All. Of. Them.

It’s okay. We all have our past sexual anguishes. No judgment. Revel in your past drunken stupidity, by drinking even more. It’s a vicious cycle really, but it’s the only way mistakes are made.

So grab a bottle of three-dollar wine, order that free Papa John’s pizza you won from the Super Bowl coin-toss, and commiserate with the ladies of MVPleez about letting that scab kiss your boobs. Repeatedly.

And cry. You should probably cry, too. Like, a lot.

MVPleez is Monica West and Valentine Bureau. Two ladies from NYC who turn their every day lives into music videos. Because, well, why wouldn’t you?
www.MVPleez.com * follow us! https://twitter.com/#!/MVPleez

 

Slutty but Funny

Natalie Wall likes to think she is a female comedian but the reality is she’s a NYC girl trying to make it big. If she’s not writing in her blog, Awkward Sex and the City, she’s spraying vanilla icing on a mini donut or thinking of ways to kill Dora from Dora the Explorer. Help her, humor her and fall in love with the pale pasty princess straight out of Compton (not really).

 

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The Walking “Red”: Taylor Swift Is Leading the Musical Zombie Apocalypse

January 24, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Know what I think? I think Taylor Swift is leading us straight to a musical zombie apocalypse.

Clue Number One: her new album–Red.

Red, as in Taylor’s going to suck the life blood right out of the radio with her insipid yet ear wormy songs. She’s not gonna stop until we’re glazed over and stumbling all the way to the ATM machine, leg dragging.

Clue Number Two: Keith Richards already looked like death.  Once Taylor showed up, he became corpse ready. I could rest my case based on his cryptkeeper mug alone. It’s enough to make me lock myself up with a Stones album and a bottle of Southern Comfort.  Liz Phair just called and suggested a good and proper ball busting.

Taylor, want to know why we’ve gotta be so mean? It’s because you’re more cherry popover than virginal pop cross over and if the zombies don’t get us the diabetes will.

The final brain numbing comes in with Clue Number Three: A Southern accent? Aren’t you from Pennsylvania, Miss Swift?  What, Pennsylvania Dutch too Dwight Schrute sexy for you?

She’s downright blood thirsty!  Anyone see the look on her face at the Golden Globes when Adele picked up Best Original Song  for the 007 theme “Skyfall”?  Dang! Girlfriend could’ve killed Dr. No instantly.  Now that’s putting the c%#t back in Country!

Pop princess patently pissed. [Read more...]

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Alter Ego’s Annual Toys for Tots SpectacuBenefitathon Dec. 16

December 12, 2012 By Leave a Comment

christmas monkey

This month, a very special ALTER EGO gets naughty AND nice at our annual Toys For Tots Benefit! Killer Killy Dwyer is your holidazed hostess serving up a sparkly, spirited night of quirky, holiday themed vaudeville performances in this alt variety spectacuBenefitathon!

Dec. 16, 8pm – 11pm Show and Jingle Mingling
$5 suggested minimum donation (all proceeds go to Toys For Tots) AND an unwrapped, non-stuffed, new toy for a child
Raffles! Surprises! Santa! Marines! and ….
RSVP HERE


Toys For Tots 2012 Line-Up Includes: [Read more...]

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Slutty but Funny – The Ladies of Candy Slice

October 31, 2012 By Leave a Comment


“Things You Can Be On Halloween Besides Naked!!!” is an Emotistyle video, brought to you by Candy Slice member, Shamikah, you can check out all the Emotistyle vids on that channel at YouTube.com/emotistyle ”

The ladies of Candy Slice are just that: a slice of heavenly candy, filled with awesomely hilarious characters, complete commitment to highlighting the absurdity of our entertainment industry (amongst other things), and let me be frank, they are pretty hot too. Maybe I’m alone on this, but I’ll always have a soft spot for sexy ladies that have no issue “uglying” themselves up for some good ol’ comedy. Relax. Watch. Enjoy. And laugh…a lot. But remember, Candy Slice is not liable for any choking and/or loss of candy due to involuntary laughter attacks during the duration of these films. You’ve been warned.
Candy Slice
Candy Slice is: KRISTEN ACIMOVIC | REGINA DECICCO | JULIE KATZ | ANNA LEAH MALTEZOS | SHAMIKAH CHRISTINA MARTINEZ | TRACEY PETRILLO | CLAIRE JANE WOLTERMAN

[Read more...]

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Slutty but Funny Love – Funny Musician Linda Roy

October 24, 2012 By 2 Comments


Linda Roy, I am in love with you. God dammit, you’re great. Your ability to embody the mannerisms and quirks of these famous singers is breathtaking and borderline genius. You had me pissing my pants from laughter in your original rendition of Lana Del Ray’s, “Video Games.” Did Lana give up sushi to give birth to her children? No, no she did not. That bitch.

Pairing classic and catchy tunes with hilarious lyrics about your children/fast food/your vagina, well let’s get real here, you found your niche, lady. Like I said, I officially fell in love with you, and I’m pretty sure so will all the Funny not Slutties of the world.
Oh, and can I make one request? Can you write a song about condiments (specifically Hellman’s mayo) and mix it with Kesha’s song, “Blow,” for me? I have a feeling you could rock out a pretty epic love ballad about my baby, Hellman. http://www.modmombeyondindiedom.blogspot.com
[Read more...]

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Behind the Music: Artisanal Line Dance – Jenn Dodd

July 14, 2012 By 1 Comment

funny-music-video-youtube

New York comedians Jenn Dodd and Brendan McLoughlin have started a new character project entitled Faux Bands and B-Movies in which they create fake bands complete with album covers and B-movie posters with “behind the scenes footage” ala the Christopher Guest flicks. In this video, the first of the series, they riff on such pop cultural stereotypes as these Brooklyn hipsters, Ronny and Propecia of the band Artisanal Line Dance.

 

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Jessica Delfino Is Magic

June 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Funny Woman Jessica Delfino

Jessica Delfino

Insight from Jessica especially for FnS viewers:

This “NEW” video version of the “MAGIC” song was made for a UK TV pilot featuring lots of demented comedians. It was filmed in Edinburgh, Scotland in Aug 2009 in two locations — one was the gorgeous Arthur’s Seat mini-mountain attraction that tons of tourist climb on a daily basis to get breath taking views of the ocean and surrounding city. Some climb drunk and die, but I was not one of them — not that year, anyway! Unlike American tourist attractions, there are no walls or fences around Arthur’s Seat (and no admission fee). You’re on your own, so don’t be a dumb ass, and wear sensible shoes to hike up the mound and not 6 inch high heels like I’m wearing in this video.
[Read more...]

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Kimberly McBride: RAW IMPRESSION

June 14, 2012 By 3 Comments

 

Kimberly McBride

This interview with PunkWeb filmmaker Kimberly McBride was published on the old FnS site in July of 2008 and Kim was my first audio interview. There is no intro because I was just recording our conversation to write up later. But the real audio as too interesting to pass up so Kim gave me permission to upload it. Audio player is below:

JS: What you do is not necessarily parody, and it’s not always comedic. How do you categorize it?

KM: Homage in art. And I try to make it semi-funny, though it’s challenging sometimes working alone with no instant feedback. I do everything from the idea, to the set design, the makeup, the acting, the directing, and the editing. My solo work is a bizarre process. Working with other people is much more fun…I put my soul into my homage work. [Read more...]

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