5 reasons to cancel your plans for suicide this holiday season by The Southern Jewish Princess

Southern Jewish Princess Cartoon Holidays

Nice Girls Crew Review – Natalie Wall

Nice Girls CrewThe internets have done it again, gentleladies! And by the internets I mean, Sheetal Sheth, Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen along with writer Christine Kwon have combined forces to create what quite possibly might be the next new web-series addiction. Join the NICE GIRL CREW as they embark on the dreaded hell of a book club…amongst friends. Where we learn very quickly that discussing literature with your childhood bffffffff’s ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. But it’s damn effin’ hilarious to watch!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ngcseries

NICE GIRLS CREW is a production of the Center for Asian American Media (CAAM), the non-profit organization behind the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival (SFIAAFF). The organization celebrated its 30th annual film festival in March of 2012. In addition to producing SFIAAFF, CAAM funds feature-length documentaries, produces narrative films, distributes works to educational organizations, curates work for US public television and Comcast On Demand, and produces original digital media. For more information, visit www.caamedia.org.

 

Slutty but Funny

Natalie Wall likes to think she is a female comedian but the reality is she’s a NYC girl trying to make it big. If she’s not writing in her blog, Awkward Sex and the City, she’s spraying vanilla icing on a mini donut or thinking of ways to kill Dora from Dora the Explorer. Help her, humor her and fall in love with the pale pasty princess straight out of Compton (not really).

 

Slutty but Funny – The Ladies of Candy Slice


“Things You Can Be On Halloween Besides Naked!!!” is an Emotistyle video, brought to you by Candy Slice member, Shamikah, you can check out all the Emotistyle vids on that channel at YouTube.com/emotistyle

The ladies of Candy Slice are just that: a slice of heavenly candy, filled with awesomely hilarious characters, complete commitment to highlighting the absurdity of our entertainment industry (amongst other things), and let me be frank, they are pretty hot too. Maybe I’m alone on this, but I’ll always have a soft spot for sexy ladies that have no issue “uglying” themselves up for some good ol’ comedy. Relax. Watch. Enjoy. And laugh…a lot. But remember, Candy Slice is not liable for any choking and/or loss of candy due to involuntary laughter attacks during the duration of these films. You’ve been warned.
Candy Slice
Candy Slice is: KRISTEN ACIMOVIC | REGINA DECICCO | JULIE KATZ | ANNA LEAH MALTEZOS | SHAMIKAH CHRISTINA MARTINEZ | TRACEY PETRILLO | CLAIRE JANE WOLTERMAN

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GIRLS OF RELAPSE 2013 :: CALENDAR LAUNCH PARTY + TALENT SHOWCASE


COME CELEBRATE WITH US!!
Do you like SNL?? We LOVE SNL!!!

13 ever-lovely performers + staff members from Relapse Comedy Theatre took inspiration from our favorite tv show, Saturday Night Live, for this year’s 2013 Calendar. It’s funny, sexy, iconic and a keepsake you’ll still be staring at in 2023!!

Through out 2013, the Girls of Relapse will be promoting the shows, events, and activities of Relapse Theatre and representing Relapse Theatre at events around town. The Girls of Relapse will also be involved in philanthropic and community service projects on behalf of the theatre.

Meet a three of our Girls of Relapse who are breaking boundaries from the boys club of comedy, proving that they are truly Funny not Slutty!!
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Pregnant in the Club – Squirm and Germ

Don’t count joke rapping out just yet. With their Loney Island-esque style, Squirm and Germ will leave you giggling at some pretty disgusting shit. Like premature breast milk lactations, per chance? And if that didn’t get you all hot and bothered, our very own Jenn Dodd makes and epic cameo! Nice.

Squirm and Germ just performed at The People Improv Theater this past August and will be announcing new dates for performances on their website www.squirmandgerm.com. Get off yo’ ass and see a show, ladies!

 

Slutty but Funny

Funny not Slutty Associate Editor Natalie Wall likes to think she is a female comedian but the reality is she’s a NYC girl trying to make it big. If she’s not writing in her blog, Awkward Sex and the City, she’s spraying vanilla icing on a mini donut or thinking of ways to kill Dora from Dora the Explorer. Help her, humor her and fall in love with the pale pasty princess straight out of Compton (not really).

Mrs. Mullet’s Baked Chicken Breast Recipe

The hidden causes of TMJ, aka Mrs. Mullet’s Baked Chicken Breast Recipe

It was 7 o’clock. Dinner had been over for half an hour. The dishes had been cleared, leftovers had been put away. The table had been wiped down. There was talk of pajamas, tooth brushing, and bedtime stories.

I looked over at my five-year-old and noticed he was chewing something.

“Did you get a treat without permission?” I asked. “Gum, perhaps?”

“No, Mom,” he said. “I’m still trying to eat the chicken from dinner.” He took the wad out of his mouth to show me. “It’s taking forever.”

“Still?” [Read more...]

Food Suicide

Can you really kill yourself with food? An investigation.

Often times on shows like The Biggest Loser, people are told that they are “killing themselves with food.” I always scoff when I hear that. I mean, honestly, if you really want to kill yourself are you going to use a gun or bacon? Me, personally, I’d go with the latter, since I am depressed but don’t really want to kill myself so my attempt to cut my wrists with bacon would just be an obvious cry for help.

But, being the intrepid reporter that I am not, I decided to take a closer look at the idea of death-by-food. Can I actually kill myself with food? Let’s find out. I chose the three most lethal kinds of food out there, if Redbook and Glamour are to be believed. And they are, though I’d caution against implementing all of their recommendations. Unless you want to be licking a perineum every time you have sex, I’d take their advice carefully. TRUST ME. [Read more...]

My Drunk Kitchen – Natalie Wall

Want to be philosophical, schwasted, and corny as hell while violating a (dead) chicken with a beer can? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m pretty sure tampering with a dead animal carcass is illegal in most states. So why not live vicariously through Hannah via “My Drunk Kitchen” and watch her drunkenly stumble (with her thoughts and actual body) through her one-lady cooking webisodes?

Will you actually learn how to cook? Absolutely. Will the food be good? Absolutely not. But cooking is more about the experience than the actual outcome of the food (which is why God created Taco Bell), and Hannah is ready and willing to demonstrate that the best type of experience is always a drunk experience.

 

Slutty but Funny

Natalie Wall likes to think she is a female comedian but the reality is she’s a NYC girl trying to make it big. If she’s not writing in her blog, Awkward Sex and the City, she’s spraying vanilla icing on a mini donut or thinking of ways to kill Dora from Dora the Explorer. Help her, humor her and fall in love with the pale pasty princess straight out of Compton (not really).

 

My Top 6 Cooking Disasters and Why None of Them are My Fault

In the kitchen, I’m useless, and always have been. Every attempt I’ve ever made at cooking has been a nightmare. There have been many disasters along the way, but here are the top 5 standouts.

 

Pepperoni and Cardboard Pizza

What happened:

Did you know that you’re not actually supposed to bake a frozen pizza with that round piece of cardboard still under it? Because I sure as hell didn’t.

Who I blame:

This is a clear case of negligence on the part of DiGiornio and I fervently believe that, had my husband not come home and asked “What IS that burning smell?”, our resulting lawsuit (had we survived the fire) would have made us rich beyond our wildest dreams.

Salty Mac and Cheese. 

What happened:

Freshman year of high school, I decided to take a break from being an asshole 14-year old and made dinner for my mom. I have no idea what prompted this idea but I suspect I’d done something stupid and wanted to head off my mom’s wrath by doing something sweet to stifle her rage when she finally got wind of whatever it was.

Uncharacteristically, I decided not to get too ambitious and stuck with the basics for my menu. Grilled cheese sandwiches, with a side of macaroni and cheese. How could I possibly fuck that up?

After a lot of hard labor, I proudly presented my mom with my culinary masterpiece. I watched eagerly as she took her first bites. The grilled cheese went off without a hitch. The mac and cheese, not so much.

Who I Blame:  [Read more...]

Coffee Shop Dance Off – Elle Latham

I came up with Coffee Shop Dance Off a little under 2 months ago. I was getting restless in my not so burgeoning career and had the notion to come up with a sketch I could make involving my friends Dan Engel and Cat Doss. I had worked with them on two projects before; Super Awkward Fun Time (a little web show I created and invited Cat to cohost on several times) and DangleTV (Dan’s paparazzi show that I pretended to intern on in an over the top version of myself).

At the time I sat down to that table right across from Starbucks at Santa Monica and La Brea, I started to think of weird, funny things that occur in that kind of setting. I was listening to music on my phone at the time and then an idea popped into my head. It was crazy, dumb, simplistic, but different from anything I’d seen before. It consisted of two servers in a coffee shop that just started dancing, trying not to spill their coffees and one-upping each other.  Soon, I had a first draft script.

I had to think of a song to play during the dance off. The first song that came to mind was Starships by Nicki Minaj.  But I had to let that one go fast due to copyright and all that shit. It sucked cuz I thought that would’ve been hilarious. The irony is the song I ended up going with had someone claiming copyright even though the composer had been dead for over 80 years. I didn’t do the math. Okay. Anyway, that’s another issue entirely. The point is I couldn’t use Starships even though I thought it was perfect for the short.

Then, I focused on casting. I already knew I was playing Patron #1. That wasn’t negotiable. The problem was finding the dancers and seeing if Cat could play Patron #2. When I told her about the project and the part, she quickly said yes. I offered her no money but did ask for help producing since she had more experience in that area whereas I had zilch. She was an asset to me in the producing process and was made Associate Producer. I soon asked Dan if he’d DP for me as well as edit, knowing how good he was at both. He said yes. I told him I couldn’t pay him and he still said yes. So now, I needed two dancer/actors who were male and a location.

I tried to think about a restaurant that might let me film there without charge and quickly found Doomie’s, a little vegan/vegetarian restaurant I had been frequenting for the last two years. It was perfect.

Then, I approached Doomie, the owner, and he told me projects had been filmed there before and that it was cool if we did. I’m paraphrasing, of course. I thought SWEET! Location acquired.  I still needed dancers. At the same time, my AP Cat Doss asked if I could make Doomie a character in the short and so a second draft script was written in which he would announce the winner of the dance off as himself, basically. I named him Manager, of course. While I was at it, I decided to create a character for my DP Dan and give him the tag at the end referencing that infamous scene in Where Harry Met Sally when Reiner’s mother said she’d have what Sally was having. [Read more...]