Eat This! Loaded Balls

 

christmas-balls-funny

 

Eat This! on Funny not Slutty – Real recipes, made real funny.

by Heather Davis

Be sure to tell your guests to keep a napkin handy because these balls are juicy and will squirt in their mouths and dribble down their chins if they aren’t careful. Some might swallow; some might try it, but spit it out; and many guests won’t even eat them after you tell them this and that would leave more for you!

3 slices bread, cubed (or if you have a child who decided to make bread soup by dumping a whole loaf of bread in a bowl of water the day you decided to cook these, you could just use 1 cup of bread crumbs)

1 c milk

1 egg

½ t garlic salt

1 t salt

½ c chopped celery (or celery seed for the picky husband who refuses to eat celery, but doesn’t notice one single bit when you use celery seed)

½ c chopped onion

1 lb hamburger

1 lb hot sausage (bulk)

(Or you can do 2 lbs hamburger or 2 lbs turkey if you’re all “Biggest Loser” and whatnot) [Read more...]

Notes From Your Drunk Grandma: Childhood Enrichment

 kids today

Sit down, dear—we need to have a talk.

My grandchildren are insufferably boring, and Nana can’t take it anymore.

It’s not for lack of trying on your part, Lord knows. They’re in baseball, watercolors, boy scouts, wreck diving, creative weavery, and yet they’re still so pale and whiny and afraid of being awesome like Grandma.

For Christmas this year, Nana wants her sweet muffin-faced angels to be the most inglorious badasses that ever walked the Earth.

 

Reintegration Camp Adventure

Replaces: All learning activities.

Class: They sit in rickety wooden chairs in the haunted part of my basement while I shout facts through a bullhorn 2 feet from him. Each time they forget a fact, another stuffed animal disappears. [Read more...]

Eat This! German Christmas Stollen

funny christmas recipe

German Christmas Stollen- a family recipe as flavorless as it accusing
Eat This! on Funny not Slutty – Real recipes, made real funny.

by Traci Foust and Max Petersen

Looking for the perfect Secret Santa gift? Need a holiday dessert to let your guests know your cooking sparkles as bright as the star that lead the wise men to baby Jesus? Here’s an authentic and extremely complicated German recipe to show all your loved ones you’re totally fine with settling for their friendship. It’s German Christmas Stollen. Literally translated the word means, mineshaft, a fitting Germanic symbol of how low your enthusiasm will sink once you figure out Trader Joe’s has a whole rack of these dry, tasteless cakes for half of what you’ll spend to make one. This recipe comes with American instructions and was given to me by my Berlinese boyfriend ,who every year around tannenbaum time, kicks me out of my own kitchen with a warning that I not assist his baking in any way lest I, “Fuck the whole thing up with my decorative sprinkles and Americaness.”

Also, the word stollen when said quickly sounds like Stalin which somehow makes everything feel more Christmasy.   
Total prep and cook time: 2-3 excruciating hours

Ingredients

  • 1 tablespoon active dry yeast. If you’re using American yeast, skip the “active” part and look for a packet that’s drinking a Pepsi while sitting in front of The Kardashians.
  • 2/3 cup warm milk (110 degrees F/45 degrees C) You may microwave the milk or warm things up with romantic German phrases such as, “If I don’t like your hairstyle I will let you know” or “We can hold hands once the ferry has started and things have calmed down a bit.” [Read more...]

REVENGE ITALIANO – Lucia Brizzi


 

Revenge italianoThis summer a theater reviewer wrote in in the Boston Globe,  “Lucia Brizzi struggles with how passionate Italian women act.” So I made a video where I knock her off.  Then my boyfriend/ director turned out to be, how do I say this, a pussy, so I knocked him off. And so Revenge Italiano was born!

Set at my family’s restaurant in historic Borem Hill, I’ve created my own brand of slapstick, silent film era videography, pulling stylistically from ‘Raging Bull,’ celebrating New York, and allowing me to wear funny things and yell out of windows.

A lot of people ask me who Mike Toro, the mafia don of the series, is to my character. I describe him as a father/ husband and revel in the discomfort created by that confusion. After all, in the 1920’s who could tell the difference? [Read more...]

Not Tonightie – Family Sandwich

 

Not Tonightie – watch more funny videos

Not Tonightie was written and produced by Family Sandwich, an LA-based sketch comedy group who met while taking classes at Upright Citizen’s Brigade. They’re best known for the viral hit “Hipster Shore,” but most of their content consists of female-focused sketches. With 4 women and 2 men in the group, lady jokes invariably win out in their videos. [Read more...]

Saturday Morning Cartoons on FnS – Foodie Edition

This one gets better as it goes along:

[Read more...]

Natasha Leggero at Laugh Factory – LA Gangs


See more Natasha Leggero on the Laugh Factory site.

 

Kid Still Life Vol. 2 – Elizabeth Bastos

 Among the crap of a life with kids can be found: Art. Toys, blocks, bikes, bike helmets, and leftover sandwiches that have been left just so, as if they are a still life done by an Old Master, if the Old Masters were a six-year-old boy with an interest in farting, and penguins.

I take pictures of what I find, and provide a title. Sometimes the result is poignant, reflecting something deep and humane in our nature, such as a pig sniffing a penguin’s butt, and sometimes it is funny.

I’ll believe in you if you believe in me

  [Read more...]

Saturday Morning Cartoons on FnS 11.26.11

Thanks to Lolly for the Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends suggestion!

[Read more...]

Fund Kill The Band – Mockrockdocumentary and Album

ONLY 6 DAYS LEFT TO DONATE!!

 

killy the band

KILL THE BAND, starring Killy (the FnS Fairy), is leaving NYC and heading up to the woods to record their first fully visualized comedy concept rock album at Leopard studios.  While sequestered in the studio, Tridango Productions will shoot a  mockrockdocumentary of the “making of”  the album. KTB will take their Thanksgiving vacation to create a one of a kind experience for the listener/viewer.  This is not your mom’s musical comedy album!  With songs like “Don’t Attack Me With Your Happiness”, “Famous Baby”, “Girl Balls” and “Mock Bottom” you can expect to be surprised and will constantly find new, hilarious layers throughout this ridiculous experiment in music and comedy (Bright Side Of The Moon?).