Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 11

 

Dear Suniverse,

How can I make enough money so I don’t have to go to work tomorrow?

Sadly Not a Trust Fund Baby

 

Dear Worker Bee,

This is the question we all ask ourselves when we finally run out of opportunities to hit the snooze bar. It’s a question that plagues us all, and what makes it worse is that there are few good solutions to the problem.

Sure, you can work and save and retire early, like those people do on the infomercials that try and sell you 10 DVDs on how to manage your money for the easy payments of $29.99 per month for three months.

Or you can come from money, like rich people do. If this hasn’t worked out for you, I say, blame your parents. Those bastards fucked things right up for you, didn’t they?

But if neither of those options is a go, you’re left with the following:

Play the lottery. This is not going to make you any money by actually winning, BUT you can become friendly with the guy who sells tickets and create some sort of evil cabal where if he does happen to sell a winning lottery ticket, you can figure out who bought it by looking at the film from the security cameras and stealing the ticket out from under their noses. Or pillows. Or wherever they keep a winning lottery ticket. I wouldn’t know, as I’ve never won.

Marry rich. This is a good option if you haven’t been born rich. A good way to do this is to follow the fine example of one Anna Nicole Smith, who came from nothing and ended up married to The Cryptkeeper – I mean, that old guy in the wheelchair. She’s a hero to us all, except for the whole dying of an overdose thing. I’d stay away from that.

Invent something. I think people who invent stuff are pretty rich, if Bill Gates and the Pinkberry guy are anything to go by. So think of something that you’d like to see in your life, like an at-home pedicure kit that comes with a recording of someone talking shit about you in another language so that you can have smooth feet and an inferiority complex without having to go anywhere.

Since I can’t think of cool stuff to make, I’ll be over here, practicing my pole dancing moves.

Relaxing in the cabin of my private jet,
Suniverse
[Read more...]

Funny not Slutties Support “Romantic Encounters” with Melinda Hill

Special message to FnS viewers from Melinda Hill, who I was fortunate enough to meet during my visit to LA last month. She has a special link share opportunity for Funny not Slutties!

melinda hill comedian

Hello FnS viewers, I’m Melinda Hill. Romantic Encounters is a web series that chronicles botched attempts at landing a soulmate based on my stand up. If you could be so kind as to donate to our Kickstarter and promote it in your blogs I will promote your blogs on my website www.melindahill.com. Thanks for your support! xMelinda

[Read more...]

Romney Obamaloney Baloney with Miss Holly Hope For President

As I am sure you remember, Miss Holly Hope is runnin’ for President. Hope believes in runnin’ a clean campaign. Here is a video with her advice on runnin’ a clean campaign in light of Mitt Romney’s recently makin’ up a not-so-nice word “Obamaloney”.

Eat This! Show Me The Money! Lemonade Pie

lemon pie

My sweet little baby decided she wanted to have a lemonade stand. We live close to the corner, so I was convinced that with her sweet face and my knock-off brand of powdered lemonade, she’d totally rake in the dough. She sat out in the heat for hours (and not just because I told her to not come home until she recouped my $1.75 investment). No one stopped. Not one single grandmotherly-type figure. I know the economy is bad, but c’mon! She’s cute enough to warrant a 50 cent cup of watered-down lemonade.

I walked to the corner where her little table with the crayon sign was set up and saw the issue: The sisters in the block before ours had their own stand. AND? They had their baby brother strapped in his stroller for curb appeal. Oh hellz no. This would not work. No one steals my baby’s lemonade traffic. We would be back tomorrow, and we would be ready to dominate. Three letters, my friends: P I E. [Read more...]

Jade Catta-Preta – 16 and Pregnant

Jade Catta-Preta is adorable guesting on the Kevin Nealon Show produced by Laugh Factory.

Victoria Jackson is going to have a new web series!

Politics. Comedy. Religion. Oh, and Love. The Victoria Jackson Show. Coming Soon.

 

Will you be watching Victoria Jackson’s new websweries? Do you want to be on it?

Let us know, leave a comment!

SchloerBITS are by Amy Schloerb


[Read more...]

Ted and Gracie : The Surprise – Jena Friedman

- Jena Friedman http://jenafriedman.com/

The Chelsea Girl (1943) Episode One – Lucia Brizzi

It’s New York City, it’s 1943, and Lucia Brizzi is a thoroughly modern woman. If only she can only escape the stranglehold of her domineering father, drunken mother, and pathetic bore of an ex-fiancé. All changes when she meets her match, her sworn enemy turned accidental lover, misogynistic newspaperman John Powell. This battle of the sexes nods to classic Screwball Rom Coms, satirizing antiquated ideas about sexuality that still resonate today.

** For all things The Chelsea Girl (1943), visit TheChelseaGirl1943.Tumblr.com, and Follow on Facebook @ The Chelsea Girl (1943)

3rd Wheel: The Web Series – Family Meal

 

Annie Solstad, Jeffrey James and Binney Kevin Laferriere are 3rd Wheel Comedy. 3rd Wheel: The Web Series follows three twenty-something’s living together in NYC. Annie, the sloppy unorganized woman of the house…Kevin, the ultra-domestic, dim-witted, and overly sentimental boyfriend…and Jeffrey, the gay, sarcastic, and hygienically anal-retentive best friend. Their newest episode, Family Meal, shows what happens when Kevin’s unruly family members come to dinner and features Katie Laferriere and Stephen Laferriere.