Coffee Shop Dance Off – Elle Latham

I came up with Coffee Shop Dance Off a little under 2 months ago. I was getting restless in my not so burgeoning career and had the notion to come up with a sketch I could make involving my friends Dan Engel and Cat Doss. I had worked with them on two projects before; Super Awkward Fun Time (a little web show I created and invited Cat to cohost on several times) and DangleTV (Dan’s paparazzi show that I pretended to intern on in an over the top version of myself).

At the time I sat down to that table right across from Starbucks at Santa Monica and La Brea, I started to think of weird, funny things that occur in that kind of setting. I was listening to music on my phone at the time and then an idea popped into my head. It was crazy, dumb, simplistic, but different from anything I’d seen before. It consisted of two servers in a coffee shop that just started dancing, trying not to spill their coffees and one-upping each other.  Soon, I had a first draft script.

I had to think of a song to play during the dance off. The first song that came to mind was Starships by Nicki Minaj.  But I had to let that one go fast due to copyright and all that shit. It sucked cuz I thought that would’ve been hilarious. The irony is the song I ended up going with had someone claiming copyright even though the composer had been dead for over 80 years. I didn’t do the math. Okay. Anyway, that’s another issue entirely. The point is I couldn’t use Starships even though I thought it was perfect for the short.

Then, I focused on casting. I already knew I was playing Patron #1. That wasn’t negotiable. The problem was finding the dancers and seeing if Cat could play Patron #2. When I told her about the project and the part, she quickly said yes. I offered her no money but did ask for help producing since she had more experience in that area whereas I had zilch. She was an asset to me in the producing process and was made Associate Producer. I soon asked Dan if he’d DP for me as well as edit, knowing how good he was at both. He said yes. I told him I couldn’t pay him and he still said yes. So now, I needed two dancer/actors who were male and a location.

I tried to think about a restaurant that might let me film there without charge and quickly found Doomie’s, a little vegan/vegetarian restaurant I had been frequenting for the last two years. It was perfect.

Then, I approached Doomie, the owner, and he told me projects had been filmed there before and that it was cool if we did. I’m paraphrasing, of course. I thought SWEET! Location acquired.  I still needed dancers. At the same time, my AP Cat Doss asked if I could make Doomie a character in the short and so a second draft script was written in which he would announce the winner of the dance off as himself, basically. I named him Manager, of course. While I was at it, I decided to create a character for my DP Dan and give him the tag at the end referencing that infamous scene in Where Harry Met Sally when Reiner’s mother said she’d have what Sally was having. [Read more...]

What’s With The Weather? Absurdity Today! with Julianna Forlano

Julianna ForlanoJulianna Forlano is the host and head writer of The Forlano Factor, the Satirical News Parody show with a powerful point of view and a sharp tongue.
ForlanoFactor.com
Julianna on Funny not Slutty’s Community

music test

eighties by Lakia Ross on Grooveshark

Ryan Gosling in Drive – Kristen Carney

 

 

 

 

 

by Kristen Carney


 

A woman is suing the movie Drive for not living up to its trailer. She said that based off of the trailer, she expected it to be more like the movie Fast and the Furious. Personally, I’d sue a movie for being like Fast and Furious. If she wanted Drive to be like Fast and the Furious, I have some serious questions about her mental state and also if she has anything other than Ed Hardy in her wardrobe.

I will, however, agree that Drive was kind of boring. I get that whole “artsy, hipster” thing it had going on. But, if I hadn’t drank coffee before, I probably wouldn’t have made it past the first seen with Carrie Mulligan and her gangster hoop earrings.

Save yourself $12 and watch as I reenact the whole movie, with my best Ryan Gosling face and all.

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 1

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse. Enjoy, lovers. 

Dear Suniverse,

I am about to move to a very small town, where I will no doubt immediately alienate most of the population, terrify some and enrage the rest. Do you think I should I buy a red or yellow bicycle for the road raging event that I am sure will see the end of me?

Small Town Problems  [Read more...]

FnS Talent – Anna Lefler

 

 

Anna Lefler is an award-winning writer and comic whose work has appeared online at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Salon.com, The Big Jewel, MyPheme, Funny Not Slutty and Humor Press. She is the author of The CHICKtionary:  From A-Line to Z-Snap, the Words Every Woman Should Know (Adams Media, Fall 2011) – a humorous dictionary of the things women say and what they really mean when they say them.  Anna has performed original standup comedy in Los Angeles clubs including the Hollywood Improv, the Comedy Store, Room 5 Lounge and M Bar.

http://twitter.com/AnnaLefler

http://www.lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com

http://www.annalefler.com

 

FnS Talent – Minivan Momma

I am Heather Davis, also known as Minivan Momma.  I was born before there were such things as minivans.

 When I was 16, my parents purchased one of the first minivans to roll off Detroit’s finest lines.  Imagine my giddiness at getting to drive a minivan to cruise through McGaggles as a teenager! 

 Luckily for all,  I’ve been able to retain that sarcasm that I perfected as a 16-year old driving a minivan!

Ten years later, I married The Dad and we commenced to starting a family – all the time swearing we would never own a minivan.

In 2001, I became a Momma and The Dad became a Dad. 

 We purchased a very trendy (and very sucky) SUV, renewing our vows to never drive a minivan.

In 2004, I became a Momma for the second time. 

 Because our sucky SUV was on it’s very last tire, we had begun the process of purchasing a new vehicle.  Hormones got the best of me, and we were searching for a minivan.  As I held my newborn daughter for the first time, the delivery room phone rang and the bank had approved our application for a new car loan.  And they sent their congratulations!



 When Daughter 2 was 2 days old, I “fed her my breast” as Daughter 1 loved to tell people while sitting on a toilet of a minivan dealer showroom.  Three hours later, we drove away in a minivan. 

 Hormones got the best of me again, and I bawled the entire way home.  Not because we were driving a minivan.  Not because we were a complete family with two beautiful daughters.  Not because I was utterly exhausted from giving birth just two days before.  I was bawling because by the time we left, The Olive Garden was closed and I was really jonesin’ for some salad and breadsticks.



 The rest, as they say, is history… or – according to The Dad – hearsay! 

 You can read all about it at http://www.minivan-momma.com/ !!

 And you can follow me on Twitter:  MinivanMomma2

You can email me at Minivan.Momma.2@gmail.com – Viagra salesmen need not apply.

Plus, I’ll be your best friend if you “like” me on Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/IAmMinivanMomma