But Darling…Everybody Knows…

Jewish Princess Joke

MAKE IT like The Girlfriend Mom: Doing It In Front Of A Mirror

funny sex column mirrorMy new sex toy, or should I say, my boyfriend’s and my new sex toy, is a full length, 250 pound, mahogany wood mirror. Sex toy, shmeck toy, call it what you will, but my boyfriend and I looked hot last night, getting down in front of the mirror in our bedroom.

Do you and yours watch yourselves in a mirror? Have you ever watched yourselves? Do you have a mirror, strategically placed in your boudoir, that allows you to view your sexapades, in all of your naked raunchiness? Do you think that this kind of behavior is atypical or deviant? As shocking as this may sound, there are those that actually do. Or are you like me and my lover, who bought the heaviest, largest, and most expensive mirror in Home Goods? No? Okay, I guess I’m the only me.

In a recent survey for The 50 Best Kinky Ideas for Sexy Loving, #3 was having sex in front of a full length mirror. Really? I don’t consider mirror sex kinky at all. If you think about it, we look at ourselves in mirrors all day long, for various reasons, and to me, sex just happens to be one more reason. [Read more...]

Jessica Delfino Is Magic

Funny Woman Jessica Delfino

Jessica Delfino

Insight from Jessica especially for FnS viewers:

This “NEW” video version of the “MAGIC” song was made for a UK TV pilot featuring lots of demented comedians. It was filmed in Edinburgh, Scotland in Aug 2009 in two locations — one was the gorgeous Arthur’s Seat mini-mountain attraction that tons of tourist climb on a daily basis to get breath taking views of the ocean and surrounding city. Some climb drunk and die, but I was not one of them — not that year, anyway! Unlike American tourist attractions, there are no walls or fences around Arthur’s Seat (and no admission fee). You’re on your own, so don’t be a dumb ass, and wear sensible shoes to hike up the mound and not 6 inch high heels like I’m wearing in this video.
[Read more...]

FnS Guest Editor – PENNY POLLAK


PENNY POLLAK is a NYC writer/performer. Her solo play No Traveler received glowing reviews in this years Frigid Festival and will be featured in 59 E 59 St. Theater’s East To Edinburgh before she flies it to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August. For the past three years she’s hosted Penny’s Open Mic at UNDER St. Marks Theater.  An ANYTHING Open Mic for all artists of any kind featured in New York Magazine and Backstage.com. She is a pillar in the NYC underground comedy community. http://www.pennypollak.com/ http://pennysopenmic.com/

Killer Kelly Dwyer
Every time I see Kelly perform it’s like it’s for the first time. Flawlessly manipulating her material and movements to connect with the audience. One of the funniest woman I’ve ever watched; she has an unreal talent to take serious dark subjects and make them hilarious while still being true to the subject matter.

Scout Durwood
Absolutely one of my favorite funny not slutty women to watch. Not afraid to be lewd, gross and very gay. With stage presence to spare she has any audience in the palm of her hand. Creative, charming and so versatile Scout does it all and will keep you laughing and in love the whole time. [Read more...]

Flacidia – The #1 Solution for EF

Most of the approaching-middle-age women I know are wishing their partners were less flaccid, trust me…

Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting Avoiding AIDS at Alter EGO – Vaudeville Surreal

Alter Ego is an alternative variety show on the 3rd Sunday of every month at Fontana’s Bar on the LES of NYC.  Hosted by Killy Dwyer, this “vaudeville surreal” show is a journey through various alternative art forms and unique performances.

The next Alter Ego – Vaudeville Surreal is Sunday, May 20th.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alter-EGO-Vaudeville-Surreal/151036401630085

MAKE IT like the Girlfriend Mom: Multitasking

MAKE IT like the Girlfriend Mom: MultitaskingIs Sex Distracting?

What are women really thinking about when they’re having sex? I suppose we’d like to believe that we’re thinking about whomever is on top of us, behind us, or under us. But we know different, don’t we ladies?

Until recently, I’d been focusing on the laundry list of distractions; thoughts, images, or scenarios, that men might be preoccupied with, when they’re screwing, and romping around. And then last night, my boyfriend and I were engaged in a most wonderful coital dance. He was on top of me, freshly trimmed chest hair, smooth-as-a-baby’s ass Portuguese skin. (that shit has to be genetic) My legs were in an Olympic event worthy spread eagle, knees bent, with my feet freakishly close to my face. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, PILATES. [Read more...]

MAKE IT like the Girlfriend Mom: Barbie Slut

girlfriend mom barbiesI’ve always believed that some girls exhibited signs of their future sexual proclivities when they were quite young. I know I did. I grew up playing with the standard dolls; Barbie, Ken, Cher. But instead of taking Barbie and Ken (Cher was always on tour) for a ride along the beach in her Corvette (Ken’s car was always conveniently in the shop), stroll down boardwalks or make pie in her Malibu Dream House, when I got them together, all they wanted to do was hump each other outside in the open air.

I remember fantasizing that Ken was on top of me, instead of little Miss Perfect, rubbing his anatomically incorrect (hopefully) body against mine. Maybe the other little girls in the neighborhood were doing the same thing. I had no idea, because I never actually asked any of them if they made their dolls hump each other or were humped by their dolls. Somewhere during the seventh or eighth year of my life, I received the message that sharing this type of personal behavior was better kept private. So I did. Until now. [Read more...]

When Celebs Suck – Snooki…this is it.

Snooki_in_Chicago.jpg: Jeff Lewis (chicagophotoshop.com) derivative work: Tabercil This is it, folks. The end times are nigh. Get your survival gear together and kiss the internet and Easy Mac goodbye.

Snooki is pregnant.

I’m certain I’ll find something about this in the book of Revelations if I just look hard enough.

Sure, the pregnancy is only being spoken of in (extremely loud) whispers so far. Reportedly, everyone’s favorite meatball has promised Us Weekly exclusive rights to break the story. Oh Us Weekly, you bastion of hard-hitting journalism. I’m sure the execs at MTV are simultaneously crapping themselves and marveling at the even larger-than-usual dollar signs flashing before their eyes. Sure, the girl is known for her partying skillz (so epic they warrant a “z” at the end), but she’s also known for being kind of a slowpoke in the brains department. [Read more...]

Open Letter to Rick Santorum – Cue Black Girls

XOXO from Cue Black Girls on Vimeo.


Renee Threatte enjoys native plant gardening, a crisp Sauvignon Blanc on a warm summer’s day, and frightening small children as well as the elderly.

www.ReneeThreatte.com
http://www.cueblackgirls.com/