Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 8

funny-not-slutty-suniverse-meme

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse. Enjoy, lovers.

Dear Suniverse,

What do you do to market yourself as a brand?

Not Proctor & Gamble

 

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The Mobile Mommy Office

Mobile Mommy OfficeWork-at-home moms.

I know there are a lot of us. And I’m always reaching out to others asking for A Clue as to how to make time for the Trying to Make a Career Out of This Writing Thing while still making time for Buttercup. I’ll admit I’ve sat her down in front of the TV for day-long PBS Kids and Nick Jr. marathons more often than I’d like to think, and yeah sure it’s educational, but still….

There’s gotta be an easier way, right? A way that doesn’t involve hiring a baby sitter with money I’m not yet making to come over and play with my daughter while I stare at my laptop for hours and allows for the best of both worlds where I get to be The Involved Mommy and she gets to Exercise Her Creativity?

But how the hell…? [Read more...]

The Actress – The Scene Partner

the actress ann carr 

 

In “The Scene Partner”, Hannah’s newly divorced scene partner Alan has a gift for the gab, but winds up speechless.

http://www.theactresstheseries.com/

Ann Carr in The Actress Season 2

 


 

the actress ann carrThe Actress is a series is for anyone who has ever clawed, and scraped and sacrificed for a dream – and for anyone who, while attempting to realize that dream, has awoken in a cold sweat at three in the morning astonished that time has passed SO QUICKLY. It’s a personal journey into the heart of what it means to work hard for a goal that may very well be elusive. And it’s for anyone who, in spite of it all, even when everything seems totally pointless, keeps going. Like a salmon struggling upstream. Or a lemming. The Actress is a long overdue antidote to Entourage. Instead of a successful actor with a big-shot agent, living up the high-life with his buddies in LA, the comedy follows unsigned actress Hannah Kennon, making a go of it on the periphery of NYC’s “industry,” with no real friends or prospects, trying to retain a modicum of self-respect and sanity. And yes, it’s funny. [Read more...]

Open Letter to The Creative Group

the creative group staffingThis is an open letter to The Creative Group Denver employees concerning my referral for help with job placement and your screening policies and procedures. The Creative Group, according to your website, “…specialize in placing experienced creative and marketing professionals in rewarding positions with a variety of firms. Our Account Executives are former marketing, advertising and creative professionals who know the business – and your marketplace – and can provide you with just the right talent for your requirements.”

My recent conversation with your company went like this:

The Creative Group Employee #1: What are you doing now?

Me: Contract work.

The Creative Group Employee #1: Oh, this is the wrong division for you. You are supposed to get the contract division, not full time employment.

Instantaneous Transfer to The Creative Group Employee #2

Me: Hi, um, so unless you have a full time job, you cannot get placed with a full time position through The Creative Group?

The Creative Group Employee #2: Correct. “Only the people who are the best at what they do get placed in full time jobs.” Also, because of XYZ, it is “a catch 22” so it would be hard to place you. We’ll see you Friday.

Nice job on the hazing, Creative Group! So what happens at hazing level 2, do you punch me in the face as I walk in the door? [Read more...]

REVENGE ITALIANO – Lucia Brizzi


 

Revenge italianoThis summer a theater reviewer wrote in in the Boston Globe,  “Lucia Brizzi struggles with how passionate Italian women act.” So I made a video where I knock her off.  Then my boyfriend/ director turned out to be, how do I say this, a pussy, so I knocked him off. And so Revenge Italiano was born!

Set at my family’s restaurant in historic Borem Hill, I’ve created my own brand of slapstick, silent film era videography, pulling stylistically from ‘Raging Bull,’ celebrating New York, and allowing me to wear funny things and yell out of windows.

A lot of people ask me who Mike Toro, the mafia don of the series, is to my character. I describe him as a father/ husband and revel in the discomfort created by that confusion. After all, in the 1920’s who could tell the difference? [Read more...]

Saturday Morning Cartoons on FnS – Foodie Edition

This one gets better as it goes along:

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Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol 1 Edition 3

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Saturday Morning Cartoons on FnS 11.05.11

See Saturday Morning Cartoons on Funny not Slutty every weekend. You can make a submission and share your favorites …And get a link credit! Boys can play, too. Read more about making submissions here – http://funnynotslutty.ning.com/forum/topics/submit-your-faves-fns-saturday-cartoons?xg_source=activity
 

Jeannie Cartoon Intro
 

 
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Star Trek Parody – Carol Burnett

Carol Burnett doing Captain Kirk impression = Priceless.