Shades FnS Interview by Slutty but Funny (Natalie Wall)

Let’s get real, women of America. You want a book that will make all your lady-parts tingle in unexplainable ways? Oh wait… You actually do want a book that makes your lady-parts tingle in unexplainable ways? I thought that’s why they invented Youporn.com. People still read porn? Gross.

Anywho, I was lucky enough to sit (in front of my computer) and converse with author Court Burback (via e-mail) about her latest e-book, “A Coupla Shades of Taupe.” It’s got sex, it’s got intrigue, and VD. It’s got a shit ton of VD!

Download her book IMMEDIATELY and read my interview with this lovely lady…

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Easy Three Herb Pesto – K A B L O O E Y

easy-pesto-recipe
Foolproof Three Herb Pesto
(for the thrify and/or recipe impaired)

Note: If you’re like that 50 Shades of Grey babe and just like to be ordered around, skip all the parenthetical notes.  You have enough issues; you don’t need to be exposed to the inner workings of my brain.
basil

  • 1 bunch basil
  • 1 bag spinach (Because it’s much cheaper than basil and I promise will work fine in this recipe.  Hey, Anastasia: you can trust me.)
  • 1 bunch cilantro (If you hate cilantro, use 2 bunches of basil, or use arugula. You can’t mess this recipe up, unless you throw in some poison ivy.)
  • 4 cloves garlic (or fewer, if you’re garlic-averse.  I actually used five HUGE cloves.  And now I’m close talking and breathing on you.)
  • ½ cup grated parmesan or romano cheese (not the green can of powdered vomit; I don’t care if you grew up with it, use fresh.  And you can use a whole cup.  I was trying to cut calories a bit.)
  • ½ cup olive oil (Up to a cup is fine, actually, depending on the texture you like.)
  • ½ cup of walnuts (Pine nuts are supposed to be used, but have you seen what they charge for those bastards? Walnuts give the pesto the same creamy texture for a lot less money.  I used a “big handful;” a half cup’s my guess.  We’re very precise here in the Kablooey kitchen.  No wonder the Food Network keeps overlooking me for a show.) [Read more...]

Keeping It Real – Like the Pioneer Woman

A Pioneer Woman Parody by Heather Davis.


On Saturday mornings, when we raise our heads at the crack of dawn (or about 3 hours afterwards), we like to have a nice family breakfast (when we’re lucky enough to have all the ingredients together – otherwise it’s each man for himself!). We start with gathering the eggs. Expiration dates? Did you know there are expiration dates on eggs? Really? You did? I had no clue. But I say, screw it! They’re pasteurized, right? Besides, if I get sick, the stay in the hospital will be a nice break … I’m just keeping it real, here!

sausage
Lucky us! We found some sausage! The expiration date is very important on sausage; however, it was on the part of the package that is no longer with the sausage. There were no fumes or green tints, so we used it.  This sausage is not organic or freshly ground.  I don’t believe in actually making my own sausage. I do believe in buying the cheapest, fattiest sausage I can find at Hellmart, which I live just down the street from.  I’m just keeping it real here! [Read more...]