Ten Totally Rad Weekend Plans for the 80s

10. Lift some Pop Rocks from the local 7-11 store when you buy your can of NEW Coke then drink the NEW Coke with a mouth full of Pop Rocks to see if you really do explode.

9. Take your boom box and Cassingle of “Footloose” out to the country and dance just like Ren McCormick until the Cassingle breaks.

8. Using your now-broken Cassingle tape of “Footloose” string the tapearound the nearest car just like Danny Zucko in “Greased Lightening”.

7. Dial 867-5309 over and over and over and ask for Jenny.

6. Buy brand new neon-colored sweat shirts three sizes too big and cut the arms, necks and waist of each and every one of them. Layer the sweatshirts over biker shorts and a miniskirt and wear them to the arcade. Attempt to beat Ms. Pacman’s high score, which was achieved by someone with the initials “A S S”. [Read more...]

80′s Era Me – K A B L O O E Y

 


A.  Asymmetrical hair.  The only haircut worse than the “business in front; party in back” mullet, the asymmetrical cut said “Do I know you from english class or lesbian softball team tryouts?” Was decidedly not a guy magnet.

B.  Walkman headphones.  Ubiquitous.  Usually playing a heavy rotation of REM, Elvis Costello, Squeeze, Prince and Talking Heads albums, unless a tape jammed and was eaten by my Walkman, in which case they functioned as tiny earmuffs.

C.  Crazy earrings.  Loud, strange, “arty” ones that I thought expressed my “frustrated artist lost in a world of wannabe Gordon Gekkos” mentality.  Mainly they just got caught on my Forenza sweaters or wapped me in the face on windy days.

D.  Vintage men’s overcoat.  My father was particularly troubled by the fact that his daughter intentionally dressed like a Lower East Side pickle salesman.  I thought my look rocked.

E.  Oversized cotton sweater from The Limited.  I owned three of these shapeless ¾ sleeved, cheesesteak-fattened-ass coverers that I wore over a collection of leggings and zipper-legged pants from Reminiscence. Yeah, that was a slimming look.

F.  Keffiya.  The preferred neckwear of college students protesting the school’s investments in South Africa.  Because if you’re looking for a fashion inspiration, you can’t do better than Yasser Arafat. My parents forbade me to wear it when visiting my grandfather, who swore he had ties to The Jewish Defense League. [Read more...]

80’s Babies by Traci Foust

Think the most righteous things from the 80’s are like totally gone forever? That’s bogus! Maybe the best parts of the decade that brought us Jenga and Finesse Shampoo are alive and well in the DNA of these 80’s babies.

 

Traci Foust

Traci Foust is the Author of the newly released book Nowhere Near Normal- a Memoir of OCD (Simon and Schuster/Gallery) acclaimed by National Public Radio, the San Diego Union Tribune and Marie Claire. Her work has appeared in several journals including The Nervous Breakdown and the Southern Review. She is currently working on her second book We’re Taking you to a Place Where you can Get Some Rest, A cautionary collection of essays on mixing Vicodin with Vodka and why dating your psychiatrist isn’t always the best way to get your own prescription pad.

Slutty but Funny – 80′s Fashion. It’s Back.

tom_selleck glasses

Ladies, it is time. It is time for us to admit that the 80’s are back and it looks so damn good. On men, that is. (Step away from the crimper, Sarah.)

So yes, I’m talking to you, good sir, with the glorious Tom Selleck mustache.

And yes, you, Mr. Strong legs, rocking the bright red shorty-shorts. You say the length of the shorts helps with your endless cross-country training? Sure it does. But it helps me get through those cold and lonely nights, so you wear those bad boys all you damn well please. [Read more...]