Choose the perfect wedding dress with Jessica Delfino

Jessica Delfino is getting married and she is writing about it on Funny not Slutty. Jessica has been searching for the perfect wedding dress and shares some of her most exciting finds.

Before you buy this dress, take a short pre-qualifing exam:
Are you 14? Are you getting married against your will to a man 30 years your senior? Are you Asian? Are you a woman who
was never allowed to play? If you answered “yes” to one or more questions, well, this dress is for you, milady — I mean, michild.

OMG, this is the perrrrfect dress if you collect injured pigeons
or if you are Natalie Portman in “Black Swan” [Read more...]

Slutty But Funny – It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

by Natalie Wall

You know, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I wasn’t supposed to be living with my parents after I graduated college, let alone living with them for nine months… and counting.

I wasn’t supposed to be moping around my house screaming at my mom for more mayo to dip my morning sausage links into.

I never thought the highlight of my week would become the moment I figured I could fashion my Kansas City Chief koozies into the perfect cooler for my vat of mayo.

“If you really fucking love me you’ll stop buying this Miracle Whip shit.” [Read more...]

The Best Video Christmas Card Ever!

Something you may or may not know about me…A Charlie Brown Christmas music makes me want to commit suicide. So when I saw this Video Christmas Card by Funny not Slutty Leslie Goshko I laughed out loud and watched it about 10 times in a row. An instant classic; send it to all your friends to spread the holiday do-do cheer. 

No really, I have to say I am very thankful this holiday season. I’m thankful that I’m not involved in any personal projects involving groups with Gentiles.  Because you people check out at about Halloween and we never see you again until after Valentine’s Day… 


I asked Leslie who the mysterious hand belongs to in the video, and to share a little about the “making of” this masterpiece -
“The mysterious hand in the video is my husband’s. Whether he likes it or not, he unavoidably gets roped into helping me (we made a short silent film a little while back: 

Whenever we shoot a video together, there’s always an issue of ‘the camera.’ Namely, we never have anyone to deal with it. So, we use a really high tech way of getting the shot: we stack boxes or tables on top of each other and place the Flip camera on top. Bingo! Instant “camera person.” We have a lot of fun together. Plus I get to say things like, ‘Bitch slap my antler harder.’ Ah, love.”