Gift Them What They Deserve ~ Your Holiday Hostess Gift Guide from The Suniverse

gift-them

Unless you’re a complete misanthrope, you’ll probably be headed somewhere at some point during the upcoming holiday season. Whether you’re with friends or family, you’ll want to take something along to show your appreciation for being invited and also to show that you’re not a complete piker.

But what to take?

That’s a question that is fraught with minefields, and it seems like no one has a good answer. Too cheap, and you look insulting. Too much, and you look like a braggart. It’s a thin line, and drinking steadily from Halloween until Valentine’s Day doesn’t make navigating it any easier.

Until now.

Because I want to help alleviate your stress, and because I am a giver, here is The Suniverse’s Holiday Gift Guide. It’s a foolproof list of what to take as a gift wherever you are going. It’s divided by age and relationship, like science classifications, so you can rest assured that the information is tested and true. What are you waiting for? Take a look and get started!

Your parents

YOUNG:
Nothing. You’re still a kid in their eyes.

NOT-SO-YOUNG:
A home-baked goodie, or a reasonable facsimile.

REALLY-NOT-SO-YOUNG:
Nothing. You’ve been a great disappointment. They expect nothing of you, so you can just deliver.

Your in-laws / partner’s parents [Read more...]

10 Popular Trends in Wedding Guest Dresses

by Blythe Jewell

Every wedding is different, every guest is special. Some of us are there to celebrate the sanctity of marriage, others are there to get drunk, get laid, eat their weight in wedding cake or some combination thereof. Let’s take a look at some of the hottest trends in wedding guest garb this season.

10. The “Your Gift Will Totally Be Something I Made With A Hot Glue Gun and Popsicle Sticks” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9.  The “I Really, REALLY Need to Find a Sugar Daddy To Help Me Pay for These Things” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8.  The “I Like Cats Just a *Little* Too Much” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7.  The “Playing This Off Like I’m Cultural and Stuff But Really I Just Want to Eat the Entire Wedding Cake Without Worrying About Stomach Pooch” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6.  The “Only Way I’m Getting Any Attention Today is by Piggybacking on the Cuteness of My Kid So I’m Going Whole Hog” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.  The “Just Got Dumped So Now I’m Planning to Get Wasted and Blow a Groomsman at the Reception” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.  The “Took that Whole Royal Wedding Thing Just A Tiny Bit Too Seriously” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.  The “I’m Hiding Your Gift in One Of My Flaps” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.  The “Last Wedding I Attended, My Husband Took Sister Wife” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 . Top Wedding Guest Dress Trend –   The “Don’t Care if I Have to Run Over my Own Grandma – I’m Catching That Fucking Bouquet” Dress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blythe Jewell is a wife, mom, sister, friend, writer/editor and professional-grade smart ass.  Her work has been featured in numerous publications both online and in print, and she’s won many awards in recognition of her tremendous talent, including an Oscar, a Pulitzer, the Nobel Peace Prize and a Daytime Emmy.  She also tends to lie a lot, and enjoys referring to herself in the third person.  Find her sometimes hilarious, always off-color, insanely unpopular blog at http://www.themusicalfruit.net/.  Also available for childrens’ parties.