When Celebs Suck – Moore is Less

Demi Moore BikiniWho doesn’t sometimes wish they were a rich, famous person? Wouldn’t it be neat to have more money than sense?  To be spared brushing shoulders with the plebes and commoners in their velour tracksuits, fighting over the last bag of Oreos at Walmart.  To hire someone to raise your children for you while you jet off to George’s villa for a little R&R.  Oh, the possibilities.

I admit, I’ve harbored such grand daydreams, especially during my commute on public transportation (shudder).  But being a normal, everyday person gives me one advantage famous women don’t possess: Wrinkles won’t mean a death sentence for my career.  I don’t need to have an obsession with physical perfection.  I can just be my great big sloppy self until I die, and my husband won’t care because he’s a slob too.  Whew.

Not so, however, for celebs like Demi Moore, or (as she shall henceforth be known) The Alpha Cougar.  She’s spent years replacing various body parts with plastic and silicone to the point where she doesn’t even look like the same person anymore.  She even sank so low as to marry Ashton Kutcher. 

What? Am I the only person who cringes at the thought?

Once Ashton left for younger pastures, Demi had to find another way to prove to the world just how youthful she still is and screw him anyway, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.  And what says “young, hip and not somebody you cheat on” better than doing whip-its like a spoiled teenager trying to escape the boredom of suburbia? Not to mention partying with your (horrified) daughter and her friends, and chasing around after Zac Efron[Read more...]