by Natalie Wall

America,

There is an epidemic that’s going on in the world today, and it’s called “bad-sex-name-fluenza”. It’s a silent killer, well, silent killer of the mood that is. Worse than gas, it strikes at a moment of pure ecstasy, leaving the victim feeling sexually repulsed/ dirty/ trying to remember the Hot-Pocket theme song. We can’t stand for this anymore, America. I’m so sick of holding back vomit while I have sex. I should get Oscars my performances.

America this must stop now, and yes I know…it would be so much fun to make fun of our own kids mercilessly for such a sucky ass name, but think about their sex life. We can only hope your partner’s genes ruin your child’s chance at a normal social life…fingers crossed. [Read more...]