For the Love of Ketchup! – Leslie Goshko

I love ketchup! No, wait. “Love” isn’t a strong enough word. I’m “obsessed” with ketchup. Yes, obsessed! Hello, my name is Leslie and I’m obsessed with ketchup. Sure, you know ketchup for its practical purposes: gracing the bun of your double cheeseburger, acting as an essential ingredient for a meatloaf. But do you know that there are a plethora of other ketchup-combination foods that are just dying to be explored? Well, there are! And I’m here to tell you about just a few of them.*

*disclaimer—I know these will probably sound disgusting, as my husband tells me this on a regular basis. But since I have no shame and eat like a 20 year old frat guy, I don’t care. They’re delicious. [Read more...]

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 1

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse. Enjoy, lovers. 

Dear Suniverse,

I am about to move to a very small town, where I will no doubt immediately alienate most of the population, terrify some and enrage the rest. Do you think I should I buy a red or yellow bicycle for the road raging event that I am sure will see the end of me?

Small Town Problems  [Read more...]