Notes From Your Drunk Grandma: Childhood Enrichment

 kids today

Sit down, dear—we need to have a talk.

My grandchildren are insufferably boring, and Nana can’t take it anymore.

It’s not for lack of trying on your part, Lord knows. They’re in baseball, watercolors, boy scouts, wreck diving, creative weavery, and yet they’re still so pale and whiny and afraid of being awesome like Grandma.

For Christmas this year, Nana wants her sweet muffin-faced angels to be the most inglorious badasses that ever walked the Earth.

 

Reintegration Camp Adventure

Replaces: All learning activities.

Class: They sit in rickety wooden chairs in the haunted part of my basement while I shout facts through a bullhorn 2 feet from him. Each time they forget a fact, another stuffed animal disappears. [Read more...]