International World State Pushup Champion ~ H. Lovelyn Bettison

funny champion

What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
-  Napoleon Hill

I’ve heard this quote a hundred times, but never really believed it until just the other day. You may wonder what changed. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you.

It was a Wednesday when I looked in the mirror and noticed the lack of definition in my arms. I was devastated until I realized that I had the power to change. So I got down on the floor right then and there and did a pushup … okay it was a half pushup. It was more like a quarter of a pushup, but it was close enough. That’s how it all began.
 

I’m writing this to you Funny not Slutties today as the International World State Pushup Champion. That’s right. All you need is a dream and a random combination of words ending with the word champion and you too could be a winner like me!

Don’t believe me? Just watch this interview I did with International World State Champions of the Universe Video Magazine for proof.

 

H. Lovelyn Bettison

H. Lovelyn Bettison is an author and blogger. Read about the funny side of life on her blog Nebulous Mooch where life is all sunshine and sausages.

5 reasons to cancel your plans for suicide this holiday season by The Southern Jewish Princess

Southern Jewish Princess Cartoon Holidays

3 Rooftop Comedy Chicks to Stalk – Natalie Wall

Carmen Lynch—

Just awarded first place at the She Devil Comedy Festival (which we happened to help sponsor), Carmen Lynch is on fiyah! And honestly, I’m at a loss for words to describe how fucking hilarious she is. So that’s all I can say. She’s fucking hilarious. And if you’ve never heard any of her stand-up, then change that. Immediately. Like, seriously. Right now. Google her. Click a link. Click the links below. You can thank me later.

Lynch has appeared on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend,” and the Aspen Comedy Festival.
Want even more Lynch in your life? I know, me too. Don’t stop now, go check out her personal website, http://www.carmenlynch.com/ and don’t forget to check out her profile over at Rooftop Comedy.– http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/comics/CarmenLynch

Mary Mack—

[Read more...]

A Special Message from Ann Romney

New York based comedian Sharon Jamilkowski mainly focuses on character driven comedy, however she’s always been interested in politics ever since her short stint as a Capitol Hill summer intern as a teen. With the upcoming election, she decided to tackle some political humor with this short message from Ann Romney.

“Hey There Funny Not Sluttees- Thanks for watching my videos. With all the political campaign commercials, I hope this one will give you a giggle. For more of my videos check out my comedy face blog www.facetimewithsharon.com and get updates up coming performances at www.sharonjamilkowski.com! Cheers, Sharon Jamilkowski

Romney Obamaloney Baloney with Miss Holly Hope For President

As I am sure you remember, Miss Holly Hope is runnin’ for President. Hope believes in runnin’ a clean campaign. Here is a video with her advice on runnin’ a clean campaign in light of Mitt Romney’s recently makin’ up a not-so-nice word “Obamaloney”.

Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting Avoiding AIDS at Alter EGO – Vaudeville Surreal

Alter Ego is an alternative variety show on the 3rd Sunday of every month at Fontana’s Bar on the LES of NYC.  Hosted by Killy Dwyer, this “vaudeville surreal” show is a journey through various alternative art forms and unique performances.

The next Alter Ego – Vaudeville Surreal is Sunday, May 20th.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alter-EGO-Vaudeville-Surreal/151036401630085

Janice Peppermill on Being Single – Jenn Dodd

OK, I’m pretty sure Jenn Dodd is making fun of me because I’ve written her about posting on okcupid. That’s ok. Anything for a laugh…PS. I have a date with some okcupid dude Friday night. I’m sure it’s gonna be great…

Both tragic and hilarious, “Janice Peppermill” is a sexual beast. Known for her cones and strict diet of Zima and heartache. An optimist to the very end, Janice takes matters into her own hands by compiling a list of all the “fun new things” she’s doing since her recent divorce.

Why I Love Christopher Hitchens – Jacki Schklar

christopher hitchens women funny

photo: www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/12/ hitchens_slideshow200712#slide=1

I publish a comedy site by women for women, so from time to time I get emails regarding the infamous 2007 Vanity Fair article Why Women Aren’t Funny by esteemed orator and journalist Christopher Hitchens. In it, Hitchens enlightens us that through the necessity of protecting our species, and because we actually harness more power and intelligence than men, and also because we’re pretty, women are not as funny as males. That is, unless we’re “hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.” The inquisitive parties who contact me asking about this article are sometimes budding young female comedians, sometimes Woman’s Studies majors, but most often they are budding young female comedian Woman’s Studies majors. They ask whether I have seen the essay and want to know, “What should we do about it?” They are enraged, appalled and exasperated. My answer is not quite what they expect. You see, I love Christopher Hitchens. And I think you should, too. [Read more...]

Notes From Your Drunk Grandma: Halloween


Well, you dirty trollops, it’s that time of year again. The time of year you feel entitled to hang your lady goods out on display and parade around asking for The VD like Nuns ask for The Communion.

No, no, not Tuesday afternoon, you insolent Jezebel.

I’m talking about Satan’s Day, dear. Something you’re probably too damn familiar with: Halloween. Pass Nana the tequila; she’s going to need something stronger than rosé to set your generation straight. [Read more...]

First Anniversary of My Watching Star Wars – Emily Schorr Lesnick

 

On the Occasion of the First Anniversary
of My Watching Star Wars
Or, The Week I Changed From Droid to Human

 
One year ago, I gained a new consciousness. One year ago, my adult friends Lindsey and Damian lugged a television from their basement into their living room in Minneapolis, we drank warm home-brewed beer, and began Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.  I had seen Space Balls, I had watched Family Guy parody the saga in countless episodes, I knew Darth Vader was Luke’s father (SPOILER ALERT!) and I even knew that Leia wore a sexy metal bikini, but I had never watched any of the series before September 2010.  I was living an empty pastiche existence, full of cultural references that led back to the same nexus.  Sure, I was an educated young woman, but in the words of Yoda, human I was not. 

Damian pressed play and the music and scrolling prologue began.  As Theo the cat sat in my lap, I bothered my friends throughout the film, reacting with audible and genuine excitement and asking naive questions. I’m pretty insufferable when I watch movies. I ask a lot of “why” questions and I wonder about things that get answered within the scene. “Who are those old people standing next to Luke?” Turns out, surprisingly enough, they are his aunt and uncle. “Is Han Solo good or bad?” Good, but edgy! “Are there any Black people in Sci Fi?” Yes, Lando Calrissian, but not until Episode V! Each answer brought new questions, new excitement, and new understanding of the Rebel Alliance. 

After the movie ended and I had filled up on popcorn and John Williams, I alternated between silence and bursts of questions and connections. Three days later, I had completed the entire series. Star Wars became a frame of reference for the way I approached all pop culture. It became a way for me to make sense of stories and make connections with the past and the future.  [Read more...]