MAKE IT like The Girlfriend Mom: Doing It In Front Of A Mirror

funny sex column mirrorMy new sex toy, or should I say, my boyfriend’s and my new sex toy, is a full length, 250 pound, mahogany wood mirror. Sex toy, shmeck toy, call it what you will, but my boyfriend and I looked hot last night, getting down in front of the mirror in our bedroom.

Do you and yours watch yourselves in a mirror? Have you ever watched yourselves? Do you have a mirror, strategically placed in your boudoir, that allows you to view your sexapades, in all of your naked raunchiness? Do you think that this kind of behavior is atypical or deviant? As shocking as this may sound, there are those that actually do. Or are you like me and my lover, who bought the heaviest, largest, and most expensive mirror in Home Goods? No? Okay, I guess I’m the only me.

In a recent survey for The 50 Best Kinky Ideas for Sexy Loving, #3 was having sex in front of a full length mirror. Really? I don’t consider mirror sex kinky at all. If you think about it, we look at ourselves in mirrors all day long, for various reasons, and to me, sex just happens to be one more reason. [Read more...]

MAKE IT like the Girlfriend Mom: Multitasking

MAKE IT like the Girlfriend Mom: MultitaskingIs Sex Distracting?

What are women really thinking about when they’re having sex? I suppose we’d like to believe that we’re thinking about whomever is on top of us, behind us, or under us. But we know different, don’t we ladies?

Until recently, I’d been focusing on the laundry list of distractions; thoughts, images, or scenarios, that men might be preoccupied with, when they’re screwing, and romping around. And then last night, my boyfriend and I were engaged in a most wonderful coital dance. He was on top of me, freshly trimmed chest hair, smooth-as-a-baby’s ass Portuguese skin. (that shit has to be genetic) My legs were in an Olympic event worthy spread eagle, knees bent, with my feet freakishly close to my face. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, PILATES. [Read more...]

MAKE IT like the Girlfriend Mom: Barbie Slut

girlfriend mom barbiesI’ve always believed that some girls exhibited signs of their future sexual proclivities when they were quite young. I know I did. I grew up playing with the standard dolls; Barbie, Ken, Cher. But instead of taking Barbie and Ken (Cher was always on tour) for a ride along the beach in her Corvette (Ken’s car was always conveniently in the shop), stroll down boardwalks or make pie in her Malibu Dream House, when I got them together, all they wanted to do was hump each other outside in the open air.

I remember fantasizing that Ken was on top of me, instead of little Miss Perfect, rubbing his anatomically incorrect (hopefully) body against mine. Maybe the other little girls in the neighborhood were doing the same thing. I had no idea, because I never actually asked any of them if they made their dolls hump each other or were humped by their dolls. Somewhere during the seventh or eighth year of my life, I received the message that sharing this type of personal behavior was better kept private. So I did. Until now. [Read more...]