God Is the Ultimate Wingman – Linda Roy

Single Christian
God is blazing a technological trail into the 21st Century.

And how is the all knowing Creator doing it?

He’s running a dating site.

God is the ultimate wing man.  He’s the Heavenly Host with the most, the Almighty matchmaker. Because frankly, he’s tired of watching us mortals fuck it up. He’s seen the reality dating shows and decided it’d be a sin not to throw his two cents into the collective basket.

If you want something done right, do it Yourself.

People aren’t exactly flocking to church these days and He needs to increase his fan base. What better way than through the Otherworldly Wide Web.

Besides, now you don’t need background checks.  It’s nicely packaged as “mingling”. Suggests a level of purity.

I like that. There’s enough tawdry shit on the interwebs. Never mind that He’s got zero dating experience. It’s not like He’s going to hook you up with that schlub from Accounting who’s got the crusty Hustler collection stashed in the hall closet.  Plus, you’ll always have a Sunday morning brunch companion.

Not only that, but if you’re an aspiring actor or model, He’s got a website for that too! Wanna “shine for Christ in the entertainment industry”? Of course you do and God wants to be your agent. Oh…and sorry, I know becoming a Christian is automatic, but you might have to audition for this.

As for dating, it probably feels like you’ve spent 40 days and 40 nights flooded with the uncertainty of your romantic future. But fear not single Christian. On God’s dating site it’s raining men.

Hallelujah.

 

 

Single Christian

Music by Night Ranger
Lyrics by Linda Roy

 

Single Christian, oh the time has come

God’ll help you find the only one who’ll say

“Let’s Pray”

 

You’re ownin’ it

Trust your plight to Christ

He’ll find your Mr. Right

He runs a dating site

 

You’re smolderin’

It’s not like you’re Sasquatch

You’ll find God’s perfect match

The fish you’ll loaf to catch

 

Single Christian, oh the time has come

God’ll help you find the only one who’ll say

“Let’s pray”

 

‘Cause you’re smolderin’

Yeah, smolderin’

 

 

Linda Roy

Linda Roy fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses alongside her guitar toting husband. Remarkably, after years of this they still haven’t killed each other. They live in Jersey with their two boys (somebody’s gotta carry the amps) and she unleashes an inner Larry David on her blog Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom.

 

“The Louise Log” Launches a Seed & Spark Campaign To Fund Season 3

louiselog
Louise Log Seed & Spark Campaign

Louise is hurriedly on her way to pick the kids up at school, when she happens upon an old art school acquaintance, Steve.

A “stop and chat” ensues wherein he points out that she looks “much older” and goes on to humble brag about his upcoming show in Germany. Louise’s inner dialogue is off and running. “You can say that because you’re a real artist. You tell the truth. I’m a little housewife with a manicure.”

Louise’s inner voice is our inner voice. It’s certainly my inner voice. We can relate, even if our husbands don’t happen to be hanging out in the living room in a full body cast only to emerge as our crazy sister’s hot French dead ex-husband.

AnnFlournoy
Creator and writer of “The Louise Log” Anne Flournoy

“The Louise Log” is a comedy web series about the inner life of a married mother of two living in New York’s Greenwich Village. The series, created and written by Guggenheim Fellow Anne Flournoy, was nominated for best web show at this year’s Shorty Awards and has received praise from the likes of Roger Ebert, Buzzfeed and the Huffington Post, comparing it to such groundbreaking series as “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “Louis”.

As the series embarks on its third season, Flournoy has launched a Seed & Spark crowd funding campaign which offers a host of donation incentives which include a personal email from Flournoy herself, an on set visit, and an invitation to attend the wrap party.

This crowd funding thing isn’t all roses and Godiva chocolates, as Flournoy shows us in this video. She’s out of paper towels and milk for God’s sake.

Sounds a little like blogging.

I urge you to consider making a Seed & Spark donation to “The Louise Log” so we can continue to eavesdrop on Louise’s monkey mind. And so Anne can get her poor husband that long awaited twelve pack of Bounty.

Of course, it is reward enough to know that you’ve supported a unique, fresh, funny up and coming web series which features the talents of lead actress Christine Cook as well as season three appearances by two of the blog world’s finest – creator of Listen To Your Mother, Ann Imig and the Dusty Earth Mother herself, Shari Simpson of Earth Mother Just Means I’m Dusty.

Because Ann Flournoy? She’s a real artist. She tells the truth.

Our collective inner voices rejoice!

Seed & Sparkhttp://www.seedandspark.com/studio/louise-log-season-3-0

The Louise Loghttp://thelouiselog.com

 

 

 

Linda Roy

Linda Roy fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses alongside her guitar toting husband. Remarkably, after years of this they still haven’t killed each other. They live in Jersey with their two boys (somebody’s gotta carry the amps) and she unleashes an inner Larry David on her blog Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom.

 

 

Anne Frank Responds to Justin Bieber – Jenn Dodd

Anne Frank Responds to Justin Bieber - Jenn DoddAfter visiting the Anne Frank Museum, where Anne lived in hiding for two years with her family during the Holocaust, Justin Bieber signed the guest book “Hopefully Anne Frank would have been a belieber”. Wow, Justin, how humble of you! Glad to know you ‘got something’ from your time in Frank’s secret annex and somehow made it all about yourself. What he probably didn’t count on was Anne Frank having a YouTube account and putting it to good use by (sweetly) laying the smack down on the 19 year old dooface. Comedian, Jenn Dodd, plays a young Anne Frank.


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Linda Roy Records ~ Wry Generation…The…Who?

photo
My teenage son and I were watching the concert for Hurricane Sandy Relief while The Who were onstage.  He knows their music.  His father and I are musicians and we make sure our kids are schooled in the classics, lest they end up with the misguided notion that John Mayer’s got it goin’ on or something.

So when the question came, I was caught totally off guard.  “Who is that?

“What do you mean ‘who is that’, it’s The Who!”

“Who?”

“Them! The Who!”

“Who, them?”

And so it went; own rendition of “Who’s On First”. [Read more...]

“I Can’t Believe I Had Sex With You” – Valentine Music Vid by MVPleez – Natalie Wall

Screen shot 2013-02-14 at 10.23.05 AM
With Valentine’s Day now upon us, there is only one thing we single ladies can do: shudder at our regrettable sexual lovers. All. Of. Them.

It’s okay. We all have our past sexual anguishes. No judgment. Revel in your past drunken stupidity, by drinking even more. It’s a vicious cycle really, but it’s the only way mistakes are made.

So grab a bottle of three-dollar wine, order that free Papa John’s pizza you won from the Super Bowl coin-toss, and commiserate with the ladies of MVPleez about letting that scab kiss your boobs. Repeatedly.

And cry. You should probably cry, too. Like, a lot.

MVPleez is Monica West and Valentine Bureau. Two ladies from NYC who turn their every day lives into music videos. Because, well, why wouldn’t you?
www.MVPleez.com * follow us! https://twitter.com/#!/MVPleez

 

Slutty but Funny

Natalie Wall likes to think she is a female comedian but the reality is she’s a NYC girl trying to make it big. If she’s not writing in her blog, Awkward Sex and the City, she’s spraying vanilla icing on a mini donut or thinking of ways to kill Dora from Dora the Explorer. Help her, humor her and fall in love with the pale pasty princess straight out of Compton (not really).

 

Might we suggest “Chloe + Zoë?” – Natalie Wall

Meet Chloe (creator, writer, actor and sometimes director) + Zoe ( Actor, and sometimes writer). These two ladies are going to be your besties for the next 3-to-7 minutes. Why, you ask? Because they are awkwardly awesome.

Is it just me or is this era of the 20-something ladies, trying to get their shit together, but not really actively getting their shit together (the characters they portray, that is)? I sure as hell hope so.

Chloe and Zoe, let me just say, you two are pioneers, making a path for all other awkwardly hilarious 20-something-ers to embrace the funny. Expect to acquire many a lady fans, and hearing the phrase, “Oh these chick’s get just me,” on multiple occasions in the future. [Read more...]

If Websites Were People… – Natalie Wall


Ever wanted to meet OkCupid.com? Or Jezebel.com, per chance? Well, don’t worry ladies (and the three gentlemen that peruse this site), now you can. Welcome to the genius that is, “If Websites Were People.” It’s eerie how on point these webisodes are. Watch, laugh and pray to fucking god you are not one of these websites. But let’s get real, you probably are.

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4 Funny Female-Centric Web Series to Watch

One of the awesomest things about publishing FnS is that the funny often comes to me. We have recently had several web series sent in by show producers and publicists. Here are 4 of my favorites, I think you will like them, too.

words with girls series

Words With Girls

Brittani Nichols, the creator of Words With Girls submitted a comedy web series featuring herself and Hannah Hart of My Drunk Kitchen fame.  This mostly scripted but part-improv comedy webseries focuses on 20-somethings in Los Angeles. When they’re not busy navigating “the scene” or jumpstarting their careers, these women do what the young, gifted and bored do best: shoot the shit.

Blogologues

Webisoder at Lively Productions, Elaine White,  submitted Blogologues. The series concept is performing material found on the internet. They just happened to have re-inacted one of my all-time favorite humor posts on the planet, It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherf**kers from McSweeney’s. I hope they will pick a FnS post soon. I think Open Letter to The Creative Group would be fabulous (subtle hint). [Read more...]

My Drunk Kitchen – Natalie Wall

Want to be philosophical, schwasted, and corny as hell while violating a (dead) chicken with a beer can? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m pretty sure tampering with a dead animal carcass is illegal in most states. So why not live vicariously through Hannah via “My Drunk Kitchen” and watch her drunkenly stumble (with her thoughts and actual body) through her one-lady cooking webisodes?

Will you actually learn how to cook? Absolutely. Will the food be good? Absolutely not. But cooking is more about the experience than the actual outcome of the food (which is why God created Taco Bell), and Hannah is ready and willing to demonstrate that the best type of experience is always a drunk experience.

 

Slutty but Funny

Natalie Wall likes to think she is a female comedian but the reality is she’s a NYC girl trying to make it big. If she’s not writing in her blog, Awkward Sex and the City, she’s spraying vanilla icing on a mini donut or thinking of ways to kill Dora from Dora the Explorer. Help her, humor her and fall in love with the pale pasty princess straight out of Compton (not really).

 

Rapists, Please Wrap it Up…


I’ve been getting increasingly antsy about the issue of Women’s Reproductive Rights lately.  I’m in no way a political comedian, but I was feeling so fed up about this one issue that I felt I couldn’t not touch on it either with my stand up or a video.  Here in the comedy community we’ve had this major dialogue in the past few months about what’s okay to say and what’s not okay to say in comedy, which is really a never ending dialogue, but was recently made specific to the topic of “rape” after the Daniel Tosh “scandel.”  Meanwhile the people we trust with actual real life legislation relevant to our rights as vagina owners have been making some pretty inept commentary.  It’s not that I think men can’t make laws relating to Women’s Health, but I think if you’ve been charged with a decision that doesn’t directly affect your person, then you at the very least should show up to the table informed.  This video is not the place to get informed, but it’s funny and features some pretty women. Please spread the word to any rapists you may know personally or anyone you suspect of rapey behavior…you know, like your weird Cousin Steve…

- Annie Solstad Laferriere,  3rdWheelComedy.com