Slutty but Funny – 80′s Fashion. It’s Back.

tom_selleck glasses

Ladies, it is time. It is time for us to admit that the 80’s are back and it looks so damn good. On men, that is. (Step away from the crimper, Sarah.)

So yes, I’m talking to you, good sir, with the glorious Tom Selleck mustache.

And yes, you, Mr. Strong legs, rocking the bright red shorty-shorts. You say the length of the shorts helps with your endless cross-country training? Sure it does. But it helps me get through those cold and lonely nights, so you wear those bad boys all you damn well please. [Read more...]

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol 1 Edition 4

sex-drought

Confused? Uncertain? Worried that you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve all your problems.  As an oldest child, I’m quite used to bossing people around and telling them what to do.  As someone who has spent countless years and more student loan money than I’d care to think about attending ever more esoteric classes, I’m filled with the type of knowledge that isn’t suitable anywhere else.  Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com.  You can also enjoy my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse.  Enjoy, lovers. 
 

Dear Suniverse,

I have not had ANY SEX AT ALL in six years and thirteen days. Will I ever have ANY SEX AT ALL? And also, do I now qualify as revirginised? [Read more...]

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol 1 Edition 3

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True Facts About Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

by Leslie Goshko

When you look at the foam of a Pumpkin Spice Latte, you can see the Virgin Mary. And Christ. And Satan. And they all get along.

Craigslist Missed Connections: “I saw you on the train drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I got an erection. For the latte.”

My brother lost his leg in a shark attack. They replaced it with a  Pumpkin Spice Latte.

 Pumpkin Spice Lattes are made of poets’ tears. [Read more...]

Notes From Your Drunk Grandma: Halloween


Well, you dirty trollops, it’s that time of year again. The time of year you feel entitled to hang your lady goods out on display and parade around asking for The VD like Nuns ask for The Communion.

No, no, not Tuesday afternoon, you insolent Jezebel.

I’m talking about Satan’s Day, dear. Something you’re probably too damn familiar with: Halloween. Pass Nana the tequila; she’s going to need something stronger than rosé to set your generation straight. [Read more...]

First Anniversary of My Watching Star Wars – Emily Schorr Lesnick

 

On the Occasion of the First Anniversary
of My Watching Star Wars
Or, The Week I Changed From Droid to Human

 
One year ago, I gained a new consciousness. One year ago, my adult friends Lindsey and Damian lugged a television from their basement into their living room in Minneapolis, we drank warm home-brewed beer, and began Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.  I had seen Space Balls, I had watched Family Guy parody the saga in countless episodes, I knew Darth Vader was Luke’s father (SPOILER ALERT!) and I even knew that Leia wore a sexy metal bikini, but I had never watched any of the series before September 2010.  I was living an empty pastiche existence, full of cultural references that led back to the same nexus.  Sure, I was an educated young woman, but in the words of Yoda, human I was not. 

Damian pressed play and the music and scrolling prologue began.  As Theo the cat sat in my lap, I bothered my friends throughout the film, reacting with audible and genuine excitement and asking naive questions. I’m pretty insufferable when I watch movies. I ask a lot of “why” questions and I wonder about things that get answered within the scene. “Who are those old people standing next to Luke?” Turns out, surprisingly enough, they are his aunt and uncle. “Is Han Solo good or bad?” Good, but edgy! “Are there any Black people in Sci Fi?” Yes, Lando Calrissian, but not until Episode V! Each answer brought new questions, new excitement, and new understanding of the Rebel Alliance. 

After the movie ended and I had filled up on popcorn and John Williams, I alternated between silence and bursts of questions and connections. Three days later, I had completed the entire series. Star Wars became a frame of reference for the way I approached all pop culture. It became a way for me to make sense of stories and make connections with the past and the future.  [Read more...]

The Real Housewives of South Boston

http://www.pauliluproductions.com/

 

Monique Madrid Settles for the Sea

 

 

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Urban Bicycling While Female – Beth Stelling

I’m having my first bout with “editor’s block” since I started FnS in 2008. Pretty sure it’s attributed to working on the new version of the site and not being able to concentrate on the current. After watching 30 minutes of videos that were a complete waste of time, I wrote Elizabeth McQuern who produces awesomeness in the form of shows and videos. She shared this tidbit, which is perfect for us. Thanks, Elizabeth!

I tend to call a lot of the quirky comedy out of Chicago like what Elizabeth McQuern produces, ”alt comedy” but she says not to call it that. So I’ll just call it funny.

https://www.facebook.com/chicagoundergroundcomedy and @ChUComedy on twitter

Tap Your Troubles Away – Gilda Radner

gilda dancing
Did anyone else wake up on the wrong fucking side of Fashion Week in panties and a Hello Kitty t-shirt with dog hair all over it (which I’m still wearing) this Saturday? I have 13 more assignments to my degree, which sounds ok but it’s REALLY 13 too many. I have perfect scores on every paper this semester, which sounds great, but it’s really just a symptom of having no life. And I have a dental appointment Monday I’m so looking forward to, to have a crown re-done that I’ve had re-done twice already in the past 5 years. So it is not covered by insurance, so I pay cash for the whole thing.  I’m realizing I’ve had more dental work appointments than good dates in the last 2 years. I want to LEAVE the Atl area and move ASAP, probably to Denver but have no idea how to find a job there. I’m STUCK here doing homework for the next few months, no way around it…Did I mention I’m in a bad mood? I really don’t know what else to do, but to tap my troubles away. OK, I am not a dancer, but I’ll eat pizza and watch Gilda do the tapping. That might work…