The Walking “Red”: Taylor Swift Is Leading the Musical Zombie Apocalypse

Know what I think? I think Taylor Swift is leading us straight to a musical zombie apocalypse.

Clue Number One: her new album–Red.

Red, as in Taylor’s going to suck the life blood right out of the radio with her insipid yet ear wormy songs. She’s not gonna stop until we’re glazed over and stumbling all the way to the ATM machine, leg dragging.

Clue Number Two: Keith Richards already looked like death.  Once Taylor showed up, he became corpse ready. I could rest my case based on his cryptkeeper mug alone. It’s enough to make me lock myself up with a Stones album and a bottle of Southern Comfort.  Liz Phair just called and suggested a good and proper ball busting.

Taylor, want to know why we’ve gotta be so mean? It’s because you’re more cherry popover than virginal pop cross over and if the zombies don’t get us the diabetes will.

The final brain numbing comes in with Clue Number Three: A Southern accent? Aren’t you from Pennsylvania, Miss Swift?  What, Pennsylvania Dutch too Dwight Schrute sexy for you?

She’s downright blood thirsty!  Anyone see the look on her face at the Golden Globes when Adele picked up Best Original Song  for the 007 theme “Skyfall”?  Dang! Girlfriend could’ve killed Dr. No instantly.  Now that’s putting the c%#t back in Country!

Pop princess patently pissed. [Read more...]