Hello, my pasty pork chops!
Welcome to summer; a season of glistening bodies and unusual smells. A season where pale, frightened body parts are finally exposed to sunlight. There is a sense of rebellion, and of things that cannot be unseen.
But not only is summer the season of foul crevices, it is also the season of weddings! And when you have weddings, then approximately three-quarters of the time (if my math is correct) you have wedding dresses! Oh, Versace-on-a-cross do I love a wedding dress! There are so many choices, my tacky little corsages! To help you narrow it down, I am going to review 2013 wedding dress trends. If you are soon to be married, use this as your guide. Don’t make a fool out of yourself. And if you have already wed, this list will show you where you went so terribly, terribly wrong.
Don’t be intimidated to wear a gown to your wedding that says, “Yes, I saw The Great Gatsby. And I loved it.”
Lace is both traditional and romantic; lace is classic, and yet barely covers the nipples. It is a stunning choice for the girl who wants to be sexy in that “naughty schoolgirl” kind of way on her wedding day: she has flowers in her hair and is wearing white, but there is nothing covering the slightly less interesting parts of her breasts. Your guests will be confused about how they are supposed to feel, which is exactly the kind of statement a Héléne Bouffant bride wants to make.