EAT THIS! Oprah’s Favorite Cookies (not that Oprah)

oprahs-favorite-cookies

Eat This! on Funny not Slutty – Real recipes, made real funny.

By Suniverse ~ That’s right, bitches – I bake, too.

Makes about 4 dozen [I got 46 and am desperately trying to let go of the fact that the last dozen was not complete] [It’s not going well]

Ingredients

2 ¼ cups flour
1tsp kosher salt
1tsp baking soda [Go ahead, use the one that’s deodorizing your fridge, I won’t tell anyone]
¾ cup packed light brown sugar
¾ cup sugar
2 sticks butter, softened [or nuke it for about 10 or so seconds if you forgot, like some people did]
2 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla
3 cups chocolate chips, various flavors [I used semi-sweet, dark and white*]
A little extra kosher salt, if you’re feeling saucy

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Line 2 or 3 cookie sheets with parchment paper.  Sure, you could just use ungreased cookie sheets, but what are you, an animal? Also, this way you won’t have to wash the cookie sheets after you’ve used them – you just toss the parchment paper. You’re welcome. [Read more...]

EAT THIS! Santa’s Reindeer’s Scat

reindeer-poop-recipe

 

Dark Chocolate Truffles aka, “Santa’s Reindeer’s Scat”

 
Eat This! on Funny not Slutty – Real recipes, made real funny.

by Elizabeth Bastos

1) Combine on top of a double boiler (if you care about that sort of fuss, you could also just nuke it in the microwave on ‘HI” until its melted) 1/4 cup strong coffee, 7 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips, 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate. 

2) Transfer to a mixing bowl. Add enough butter to feel fait from artery clog, just the way Santa felt before his guadruple bypass, about 1 1/4 sticks, cut in small pieces. Beat until smooth and glossy reindeer hide, though I have never seen reindeer hide. Just imagine it. The gloss. The smoothness. [Read more...]