5 Songs Proving Everyone Was High and Horny in the 70s

by Blythe Jewell


1. Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
, Rupert Holmes


The first line of this song goes:  “I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long.” It’s pretty much downhill from there. [Read more...]

Top 7 Reasons Why You Should Always Leave Comments – Blythe Jewell

by Blythe Jewell

Note from Editor:
I felt that a good way to encourage commenting on FnS would be to publish a post about the importance of supporting fellow contributors. Naturally, I selected Blythe Jewell because of her mastery of the English language, fame and esteem, and …Who are we kidding? Blythe is just
a great big giant comment whore. So who better to threaten encourage us to contribute comments more often?

7. Every time you read a blog but don’t comment, a puppy dies.











6. If you don’t comment, your people will revolt and your government will be overthrown.















5. The governor of Wisconsin hates two things: lurkers and collective bargaining rights.








4. Studies have shown that people who don’t leave comments are 76% more likely to contract gonorrhea.











3. Rush Limbaugh? Total lurker.






2. Abraham Lincoln never left comments, and look how HE ended up.









1. If you don’t comment, Darth Vader will choke you with his mind.







Blythe Jewell is a wife, mom, sister, friend, writer/editor and professional-grade smart ass.  Her work has been featured in numerous publications both online and in print, and she’s won many awards in recognition of her tremendous talent, including an Oscar, a Pulitzer, the Nobel Peace Prize and a Daytime Emmy.  She also tends to lie a lot, and enjoys referring to herself in the third person.  Find her sometimes hilarious, always off-color, insanely unpopular blog at http://www.themusicalfruit.net/.  Also available for childrens’ parties.

20 Cartoon Characters and What I’m Pretty Sure They Smell Like

by FnS columnist Blythe Jewell

1. Popeye








Occupation: Sailor
Smells like:  Spinach and sweat

2. Papa Smurf








Occupation:  Patriarch
Smells like:  Pipe smoke, porn shops

3.  Gargamel









Occupation: Shitty wizard
Smells like:  Cheap wine, kitty litter

4.  Rainbow Brite








Occupation:  Equestrian/child
Smells like:  Horse manure, Skittles

5.  Alvin and the Chipmunks









Occupation:  Musicians
Smells like:  A crack den, hookers

[Read more...]

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