Bubble and Squeak – Doggy Bag

Doggy Bag

 Bubble and Squeak is a Funny not Slutty food column by humorist Elizabeth Bastos.

I am afflicted by what I call “ordering remorse.” It’s buyers remorse, but in a restaurant, with the food on my plate looking meh and he food on your plate looking fabulous. I get jealous. How did you know to order the lamb au jus with petit pois coulis? I didn’t understand a single word in the sentence our waiter used to describe it, except I believe petit pois means pea, in French, and “jus” sounds like juice, but it could be justice. [Read more...]

Bubble and Squeak: Short Cocktail History of My Summer Hook-Ups


This is the first installation of Bubble and Squeak, a Funny not Slutty food column by humorist Elizabeth Bastos.

The Short Cocktail History of My Summer Hook-Ups,
circa 1998

 

Tequila Shot

Frozen Margarita

Bar Peanuts

Tequila Shot

Frozen Margarita

Tequila Shot

Flaming Scorpion Bowl, very suggestively outfitted with two straws

Jalapeno Poppers

Nachos with Everything, including the vow I made to myself to be celibate forever; my last boyfriend was a jerk [Read more...]