Everything I Know about the 1980s

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the best person to describe the historical significance of an event is someone who was not alive at the time and has very little knowledge of details or cultural context. Just like ABBA gave Napoleon’s most infamous battle an unimaginable level of grace and reverence in the song “Waterloo,” or how hipsters who wear feathered headdresses truly capture the essence of the victims of the Trail of Tears, or how I referenced the shit out of Jane Austen in the opening line of this article, people who were born years after a historical era or event are really the only ones with the proper perspective on that historical era or event. Which is why I, being born in 1992, am the obvious expert on the 1980s.

Firstly, the eighties were very famous for being the only period of history in which time travel was not only acceptable party conversation, but (probably) an actual thing. Now, whenever I try to talk about time travel at the many parties I go to because I’m very desirable and not uncomfortable at all in social situations and don’t ever seek out the apartment’s cat to sit with in the corner and tell concerned partygoers is my boyfriend trapped in an animal’s body, I usually get asked to leave. This wasn’t the case in the 1980s. There are two separate reports of excellent, adventurous teenage boys going to the future, and then to the past, and then, surprisingly, back to the future. Two! The closest thing my generation has to actual time travel was balloon boy, and that was a total bust. [Read more...]

Remember the Cool – Hall and Oates

hall-and-oates-funny

I realize that sometimes things are so uncool that they’re cool. I learned the inverse of this concept when flipping through a baby name book my mother had bought before I was born, which listed “Megan” in the section “Names so in, they’re out ,” which pretty much means that, as a fetus, I was already doomed to a life of being just a few indie rock references short of an OC episode. I also realize that there are some things which people love “ironically,” and this just pisses me off, because I’m really into sincerity. I’ve only based, like, three of my past four relationships on lies regarding either my sexual history, religion, or feelings toward Arcade Fire.

Anyways, this column is a list of things that aren’t cool but should be because I have declared them awesome: [Read more...]

Dinner with Naomi – Written and Directed by Megan Lent

Dinner with Naomi is a typical boy-meets-girl story. Except the girl is a lesbian.
James, the main character, is based very loosely on a real-life boy, also named James, who currently lives in Boston and is one of my favorite people on the planet. He’s my husband on Facebook. He gets himself into awkward situations like this from time to time. As someone who has had her fair share dating both awkward boys and lesbians with dysfunctional families, I think I’m expert enough on the subject to write a movie about it. – Megan Lent

Megan Lent

Megan Lent is a wonderfully unsuccessful blogger who likes to whine about literature at http://apostrophetothestars.blogspot.com/, and occasionally contributes to the steamy world of small-press fiction at Metazen and Housefire. She was the 62nd best speller in California in eighth grade, and used to run a brothel out of her parents’ house in Chicago. She lives in LA.

Best Canadian Love Song Ever – Megan Lent

I’m something of a sensitive singer-songwriter. I’m a “voice of a generation” kind of person. I started singing on a tour of the House of Representatives last summer, and I’m not going to say that my voice caused John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi to set aside their partisan differences and make sweet, passionate love on Harry Reid’s desk, but I’m also not going to say that it didn’t happen, either. Here I let out my truest emotions and declare the one thing that I really, truly want — a Canadian. To fuck. – Megan Lent

 

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John Travolta: A Timeline – Megan Lent

Something happened between 1977 and 1994 that made Travolta go from this:

john travolta 1

 to this:

 john travolta 2

[Read more...]