It is a truth universally acknowledged that the best person to describe the historical significance of an event is someone who was not alive at the time and has very little knowledge of details or cultural context. Just like ABBA gave Napoleon’s most infamous battle an unimaginable level of grace and reverence in the song “Waterloo,” or how hipsters who wear feathered headdresses truly capture the essence of the victims of the Trail of Tears, or how I referenced the shit out of Jane Austen in the opening line of this article, people who were born years after a historical era or event are really the only ones with the proper perspective on that historical era or event. Which is why I, being born in 1992, am the obvious expert on the 1980s.

Firstly, the eighties were very famous for being the only period of history in which time travel was not only acceptable party conversation, but (probably) an actual thing. Now, whenever I try to talk about time travel at the many parties I go to because I’m very desirable and not uncomfortable at all in social situations and don’t ever seek out the apartment’s cat to sit with in the corner and tell concerned partygoers is my boyfriend trapped in an animal’s body, I usually get asked to leave. This wasn’t the case in the 1980s. There are two separate reports of excellent, adventurous teenage boys going to the future, and then to the past, and then, surprisingly, back to the future. Two! The closest thing my generation has to actual time travel was balloon boy, and that was a total bust. [Read more...]