The Fifth Season – Pauline M. Campos

If web surfing burned calories

When I was a kid there were four seasons: Winter, spring, summer, and fall. Of course, Pluto was also still a planet which goes to show you how the times have changed. Want even more proof? Read the magazine covers while waiting in line at the grocery checkout or take a look at your tweet stream. Because we only watch Nick Jr. and PBS Kids in this house, I wouldn’t know what’s playing on prime time television, but I’ll bet you the muffin top I’ve been sporting since I the day Buttercup was born that there are plenty of commercials airing right now touting weight loss plans and pills with more than obvious references to the season that came to be sometime between I and Don’t Fucking Care.

Say it with me, now, ladies: Swimsuit season. [Read more...]

Because she’s a writer, too

My four-year-old and I are sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. I’m on the Mac, writing as usual. She’s coloring. At least, until she puts down the crayons and pushes away her Dora the Explorer coloring book. She has a question for me.

 Mom? Can I have a pen and a piece of paper? I want to write a story.

“Once upon a time there was an elephant who every else thought was crazy, like that mean old kangaroo who really needs a time out, but he was really nice and trying to save those little Who-people on that clover flower. His name was Horton and that mean old kangaroo who needs a time out just didn’t want to listen to Horton about the little Who-people on the clover which isn’t a good thing to do because mean old kangaroos should always listen to crazy elephants named Horton about little Who-people who live on a speck on a clover. [Read more...]

The Mobile Mommy Office

Mobile Mommy OfficeWork-at-home moms.

I know there are a lot of us. And I’m always reaching out to others asking for A Clue as to how to make time for the Trying to Make a Career Out of This Writing Thing while still making time for Buttercup. I’ll admit I’ve sat her down in front of the TV for day-long PBS Kids and Nick Jr. marathons more often than I’d like to think, and yeah sure it’s educational, but still….

There’s gotta be an easier way, right? A way that doesn’t involve hiring a baby sitter with money I’m not yet making to come over and play with my daughter while I stare at my laptop for hours and allows for the best of both worlds where I get to be The Involved Mommy and she gets to Exercise Her Creativity?

But how the hell…? [Read more...]

News Feed of My House – stark. raving. mad. mommy.

News Feed of My House: The Talking Tree Has Nothing on Us

by stark. raving. mad. mommy.

There is a tree with a live Twitter / Facebook feed.  Um, yeah.  A tree.  With all kinds of equipment stuck to it.  I’m not sure what the tree had to say about having the stuff stuck to it. But it spouts revelations like, “It’s nice tree weather. Going to get some work done today.”  

By “work,” I assume the tree means photosynthesis.  Or clogging up the Interwebz with breaking news about photosynthesis.  

The tree has almost 7,000 Facebook friends.  Clearly this is a trend I need to get on top of.  

There is all kinds of inanimate crap in my life that could have their own feeds.  Here are some possibilities for how awesome your Facebook news feed could be.  


The Dust Bunnies  is at Under Your Couch (via Loopt).    


Sh-t My House Says You suck. Clean me.  


Mouthy Minivan I needed an oil change 2,000 miles ago.  I’m feeling cranky so I’m going to periodically flash the ‘check tire’ light just to freak you out.  

The Laundry Chronicles That’s right.  Keep ignoring us.  You have *no idea* what kind of mold is in the bottom of the blue hamper, bee-yotch.  


Sh-t My House Says I am so sick of hearing The Laundry Chronicles whine. I am covered in crumbs.  

1 person likes this.   [Read more...]