Slutty but Funny – Penis Envy

by Natalie Wall

love my penis funny

Male Orgasms… what are they? Where do they come from? Am I the only one who’s ever wondered want an orgasm for a guy feels like? Like, there are so many different hand motions and gyrations going on down there it must feel different, if not better. I’ve always wanted to be a guy for a day, solely so I could jerk it for 24 hours straight.

My friends have heard this question a million times, and they always privately agree with my statement. I say privately only because I always get the same reaction when I ask my girl friends if they have ever wanted a penis.

“God, you’re weird.”

Silence.

“Well it would be fun jerkin’ it, wouldn’t it?” [Read more...]

THE DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY (mom haircut) – Natalie Wall

by Natalie Wall

hamil hair

I’m so afraid of the day I get the infamous “mom haircut.” But I feel like it is inevitable. After years and years of thankless children/crapped filled diapers/your husband accusing you of a prescription drug addiction you soon find yourself sitting in the chair of your local salon screaming:
“Just cut it off. I’m just too god damn busy with these fucking kids to care about my hair. Just cut it off!”

“Settle down. You don’t want to upset your stomach.”

There is no way out.

It’s the next step in “maternal instinct.” Really, first you have kids, love and cherish them unconditionally, after 15-18 years you send them off to college/prison/Taco Bell, register in some Zumba classes and then cut off your hair because “it just gets too sweaty when I’m shaking my thang!”

Whew. Racy stuff. [Read more...]