The Fifth Season – Pauline M. Campos

If web surfing burned calories

When I was a kid there were four seasons: Winter, spring, summer, and fall. Of course, Pluto was also still a planet which goes to show you how the times have changed. Want even more proof? Read the magazine covers while waiting in line at the grocery checkout or take a look at your tweet stream. Because we only watch Nick Jr. and PBS Kids in this house, I wouldn’t know what’s playing on prime time television, but I’ll bet you the muffin top I’ve been sporting since I the day Buttercup was born that there are plenty of commercials airing right now touting weight loss plans and pills with more than obvious references to the season that came to be sometime between I and Don’t Fucking Care.

Say it with me, now, ladies: Swimsuit season. [Read more...]

Pauline Campos – The 80s

Back to the 80s on FnS

I was three years old on August 1, 1981. That’s the day MTV launched with the first ever music video  played on a channel devoted solely to music. There were VJs — the television equivalent of disc jockeys — and catch phrases like “I WANT MY MTV” and then the Video Music Awards in 1984. There was Billy Joel and Michael Jackson and Fleetwood Mac and Pat Benatar and The Pointer Sisters and The Bangles walking like Egyptians.

But isn’t that a whole lot of MUSIC, one might ask? How does that even begin to make sense for a channel called Music TV?

Oh right…never mind. [Read more...]

Hamster Caskets and Bloggiversary Cards – Pauline M. Campos

My friend and fellow Funny Not Slutty writer Alexandra got me thinking a few weeks back when she joyfully celebrated the two-year anniversary of Good Day, Regular People. She wanted to know why no one has invented a line of greeting cards specifically to mark such an occasion and frankly, so do I. In fact, I have a few category suggestions for anyone considering taking that idea and running with it:

The Bloggiversary card from the IRL (In Real Life) Friends
The Bloggiversary card from the IRL (In Real Life) Friends
[Read more...]

Because she’s a writer, too

My four-year-old and I are sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. I’m on the Mac, writing as usual. She’s coloring. At least, until she puts down the crayons and pushes away her Dora the Explorer coloring book. She has a question for me.

 Mom? Can I have a pen and a piece of paper? I want to write a story.

“Once upon a time there was an elephant who every else thought was crazy, like that mean old kangaroo who really needs a time out, but he was really nice and trying to save those little Who-people on that clover flower. His name was Horton and that mean old kangaroo who needs a time out just didn’t want to listen to Horton about the little Who-people on the clover which isn’t a good thing to do because mean old kangaroos should always listen to crazy elephants named Horton about little Who-people who live on a speck on a clover. [Read more...]

The Mobile Mommy Office

Mobile Mommy OfficeWork-at-home moms.

I know there are a lot of us. And I’m always reaching out to others asking for A Clue as to how to make time for the Trying to Make a Career Out of This Writing Thing while still making time for Buttercup. I’ll admit I’ve sat her down in front of the TV for day-long PBS Kids and Nick Jr. marathons more often than I’d like to think, and yeah sure it’s educational, but still….

There’s gotta be an easier way, right? A way that doesn’t involve hiring a baby sitter with money I’m not yet making to come over and play with my daughter while I stare at my laptop for hours and allows for the best of both worlds where I get to be The Involved Mommy and she gets to Exercise Her Creativity?

But how the hell…? [Read more...]