You’ve Come a Long Way, Slutty Nurse! A Feminist Retrospective of Slutty Halloween Costumes

by K A B L O O E Y

Halloween isn’t ’till tomorrow, but I’m already tired of hearing about how horrible costumes for women have become.  They’re ubiquitous, these hard-hitting journalistic exposes from the Slut Aisle at Party City. I guess with no hurricane to blow reporters sideways as they tell us it’s windy out, they’ve got to talk about something.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and just say it: the women’s movement must have worked, because kids these days have it way better than we did.  When I was a young woman, my costume career choices were limited – I could be a slutty French maid or a slutty nurse, period.

Now? A girl’s options are a veritable skankiness rainbow.  No longer is she limited by traditional gender roles. If she wants to be a cowgirl, hockey player or SWAT Commander, there’s a sexy costume to make her dream a reality.  Her older brother’s dressing up as a lumberjack and her younger one as an astronaut?  She can do the exact same thing! See?

slutty costumes 1slutty costumes 2That’s not to mention the strides made away from the race-baiting, stereotypical costumes of the past. I remember a time when you could actually walk into a costume store and buy a Sexy Indian Maiden outfit with its own little rubber tomahawk. That’s not so today: she’s a Native American Tomahawk Hottie, now. [Read more...]

Halloween Hoodrat HO Feat. Leah McKendrick

slutty halloween costume

It’s Halloween and the sluts walk the earth… P.S. We actually love sluts.

http://leahmckendrick.com

Héléne Bouffant on Halloween Fashion

It is I, Héléne Bouffant, back with more fashion advice for the unwashed masses (that’s you). In today’s column, I shall attempt to get into the spirit of the season and talk about Halloween costumes. Personally, I don’t care for Halloween. Why on earth would you want to pretend to be anything other than the fashion-froward goddess that you are?  That is why every year, I go as myself. One Halloween, some horrible little child dressed as “the Spiderman” walked up to me and said, “What ARE you?!” To which I replied, “I am HÉLÉNE BOUFFANT! And you look TERRIBLE!” His parents were furious, but I bet he won’t dress that way again! And so another fashion disaster has been crushed in its infancy by Héléne Bouffant.

I did some searching around the internet for Halloween costumes for women, and I must say, I was absolutely OVERWHELMED by the number of career options for women that were represented in costume! Those who think the fight for ladies’ rights is dead had better take a second look! Why, for Halloween women can be anything! Here are just a few of the ensembles I found in the “Women’s Career Costumes” section of various websites.

 

Police officer

Sexy Police Officer Costume
I’ve never heard of this town, “Busted.” Must be outside of the Hamptons.

[Read more...]

In Defense of Slutty Halloween Costumes – Slutty but Funny

Seriously women, lets talk. I think we can all agree that we are a very different breed of ladies nowadays. We go to college. We graduate. We make big money. We practically rule the world at this point.

And I think we can also unanimously agree, that what we do, how we act, and the way we dress is not for the gentlemen-folk in our lives. Oh no, no, no. That shit is for us. [Read more...]

Notes From Your Drunk Grandma: Halloween


Well, you dirty trollops, it’s that time of year again. The time of year you feel entitled to hang your lady goods out on display and parade around asking for The VD like Nuns ask for The Communion.

No, no, not Tuesday afternoon, you insolent Jezebel.

I’m talking about Satan’s Day, dear. Something you’re probably too damn familiar with: Halloween. Pass Nana the tequila; she’s going to need something stronger than rosé to set your generation straight. [Read more...]