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Ask The Suniverse on FnS – 1980s Edition

April 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse.
Enjoy, lovers.

 

I see that leggings are back in style – 

Everyone

 
Dear Everyone, [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Columnists, Dating/Marriage, Featured, Featured Stories, FnS Originals Tagged With: , , ,

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 7

February 14, 2012 By 8 Comments

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse.
Enjoy, lovers.

 

DEAR SUNIVERSE:

If men have sexy, sexual wives, why do they STILL go to slutty strip bars, discuss with strippers their lives, and come home to tell you that the stripper is now a “friend”? Lord god, kill me now.

I Can’t Believe This is Happening [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Columnists, Dating/Marriage, Featured, FnS Originals, Recent Articles Tagged With: , , , ,

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol 1 Edition 4

December 8, 2011 By 8 Comments

sex-drought

Confused? Uncertain? Worried that you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve all your problems.  As an oldest child, I’m quite used to bossing people around and telling them what to do.  As someone who has spent countless years and more student loan money than I’d care to think about attending ever more esoteric classes, I’m filled with the type of knowledge that isn’t suitable anywhere else.  Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com.  You can also enjoy my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse.  Enjoy, lovers. 
 

Dear Suniverse,

I have not had ANY SEX AT ALL in six years and thirteen days. Will I ever have ANY SEX AT ALL? And also, do I now qualify as revirginised? [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Columnists, Dating/Marriage, Featured, FnS Originals, Recent Articles, Vagina Humor Tagged With: , , , , ,

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol 1 Edition 3

November 8, 2011 By 20 Comments

  [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Columnists, Featured, Featured Stories, FnS Originals, Recent Articles, Work Humor Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol 1 Edition 2

October 24, 2011 By 11 Comments

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse. Enjoy, lovers. 

 

Dear Suniverse,

Why is Mariah Carey?

Confused


Dear Confused,

Why, indeed?

I confess, I know very little about Mariah Carey.  I know that she’s married to Nick Cannon, but the only reason I know who Nick Cannon is is because he was once on The Chappelle Show.  Is he a muppet?  Is she? [Read more...]

Filed Under: Featured, Featured Stories, FnS Originals, Mommy Humor, Recent Articles, Vagina Humor Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Ask The Suniverse on FnS – Vol. 1 Edition 1

October 12, 2011 By 10 Comments

Confused? Uncertain? Worried you’re not quite fresh enough down there? I’m here to solve your problems. As an oldest child, I’m dedicated to bossing people around. As an overeducated degree collector, I’m full of knowledge that’s only suitable at FunnynotSlutty. Questions? Contact me at suniverse[dot]email[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also peruse my profanity-laced invective at my blog, The Suniverse, or follow me on Twitter, @TheSuniverse. Enjoy, lovers. 

Dear Suniverse,

I am about to move to a very small town, where I will no doubt immediately alienate most of the population, terrify some and enrage the rest. Do you think I should I buy a red or yellow bicycle for the road raging event that I am sure will see the end of me?

Small Town Problems  [Read more...]

Filed Under: Articles, Columnists, Dating/Marriage, Featured, Featured Stories, FnS Originals, Other Funnies, Recent Articles, Uncategorized, Work Humor Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,