Now I’m not going to sit here and berate you on your hypocritical religious beliefs. I saw that Mitt Romney was your commencement speaker, Liberty University. (…I watch the news…and yes, The Daily Show can be considered “news.”) Last I heard y’all called Mormons a “religious cult.”
And I’m not even going to talk about your uncanny ability to alienate any person who doesn’t conform to your “ideals.”
But if you are going to make me listen to a twenty minute introduction about the groomsmen in your fucking Southern Baptist “dry” wedding BEFORE food has even been served, you better believe I’m going to openly pour vodka into the sparkling apple cider you’re trying so hard to pass off as champagne.
Side note: If the usher has to constantly announce that the groomsmen, “is a good Christian man, and he’s fun to hang out with!” He’s not fun to hang out with. [Read more...]