Announcing Sole Provisions Short Essay Contest Winners!

funny-writing-contest

1st Prize – Lovelyn of Nebulous Mooch

Lovelyn wins a pair of Fitflops OR Orthaheel SHOES from Sole Provisions!

2 Runners Up – John “Cork” Corcoran (most creative) and K A B L O O E Y (funniest line…hint, “smoothies”)

The winning entries are below, and you can check out all entries in comments of the original contest post.

 

I Sold My Soul by Lovelyn

Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but I sold my soul to the devil to be able to cook. Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best exchange. First of all, I wasn’t specific enough. I wanted to be a world class chef with my own show on the Food Network. I don’t know if you’ve watched the Food Network lately, but I’m not on it.

Instead of magically knowing how to make perfect French sauces and rich desserts, I’m the casserole queen of my block. I can mix a can of soup, veggies and chicken in an oven-safe glass dish, stick it in the oven, and get perfect results every time. I don’t even like casseroles, but now I’m stuck bringing covered dishes to pot lucks and PTA meetings.

People eat my casseroles and ask me what the secret is for making them so perfectly every time. I simply shrug and wonder if I’ll still be making casseroles in Hell.

I obviously wasn’t thinking straight when I made the deal, but you know how the Devil is. Once you sign on the dotted line there’s no getting out. I wonder if Hell will be as hot as my kitchen is now that the oven is always on.

 

Untitled Entry by John “Cork” Corcoran

It was a dark and stormy night when I busted my sole while busting a move to “Soul Man” at a Seoul Hilton Karaoke night.

“What do you think of that as my lead sentence?” I asked Vincenta Faborgini, my hard working agent and confidante.

“In a word? ‘Overkill’,” she said, taking a drag of her Pall Mall.

“You can’t be a smoker,” I replied. “They won’t allow smokers in a winning Essay.” [Read more...]

Sole Provisions FunnynotSlutty.com Short Short Essay Contest

funny-writing-contest

 

Why should you enter the Sole Provisions FunnynotSlutty.com Short Short Essay Contest?!?

 The Prize:

One pair of shoes from Sole Provision’s Fitflops OR Orthaheel collection.

Rules and Writing Criteria:

  1. Essays are to be 150-450 words long to be considered.
  2. You must include one of the following words in the title -  sole, soul or Seoul.
  3. You can write about true events or fiction.
  4. Judging criteria are funniness, good writing and creativity.
  5. Essays will be judged by FnS publisher Jacki Schklar and announced on September 12th.
  6. Essays must be submitted by midnight Eastern on Monday, September 9th 2013. Submit your entry simply by adding it to the comments section below! You can write up to 2 entries/submissions.

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